Reel World: “Going Yard,” “The Science Of Doctor Who” And “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo”

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 2

“Project Runway” (Lifetime 7 p.m.) Past contestants like Season 9’s Anya Ayoung-Chee return as clients/models to give this season’s colorful cast some grief.

Friday 3

“Super Saver Showdown” (OWN 7 p.m.) Oprah’s network gets in on some of that sweet, coupon-clipping reality show action.

“Reel Life: Marilyn Monroe” (Reelz 9 p.m.) Reelz Channel’s new biography series premieres with this look into the life of Marilyn Monroe—probably the most over-biographied star in the history of Hollywood. Did you know, for example, that Marilyn was the single greatest sex symbol of the last century?

Saturday 4

“Going Yard” (HGTV 3 p.m.) I think TV has run out of titles. What exactly is HGTV implying with the name of this lawn-decorating show starring “Bachelorette” runner-up Chris Lambton? Is it supposed to be some kind of pun? An obscure literary reference? Hip-hop slang? Going yard? What does that even mean?

“The Science of Doctor Who” (BBC America 7 p.m.) This clip-show special highlights the “real science concepts” of the popular sci-fi series. Traditionally, these specials aren’t all that exciting, but they do signal the approach of a new season, which is good. Very good.

“The uneXplained” (Biography 8 p.m.) Curse you, superfluously capitalized letter x. I thought we banned you in the ’90s.

“Kevin Nealon: Whelmed … but Not Overly” (Showtime 8:30 p.m.) Underrated funnyman Kevin Nealon from Showtime’s “Weeds” gets the stand-up special treatment.

Sunday 5

“Jerseylicious: Reunion Special” (Style 6 p.m.) Oh, thank God. I’ve been wondering what these people have been up to since … um, what do they do?

“Army Wives” (Lifetime 8 p.m.) Lifetime’s long-running drama celebrates its 100 th episode—probably by writing in a wedding or a birth or something.

Monday 6

“Market Warriors” (KNME-5 7 p.m.) PBS sinks to basic cable levels with this new “buying and selling people’s junk” series in which buyers try to rip off antique sellers and flea market vendors so they can resell items at auction for a profit. It’s a note-for-note remake of BBC’s “Bargain Hunt,” but with all the get-rich-quick chutzpah of “Storage Wars.”

Tuesday 7

“Yardcore” (DIY 7 p.m.) See, HGTV? That’s how you come up with a title for an outdoor decoration/maintenance show.

“Extra Yardage” (DIY 7:30 p.m.) Boom! From a yard-based pun to a common yard-based turn of phrase. It’s not so hard after all. “The Yardbirds,” “The Yarder They Come,” “The Longest Yard” … see how easy this is, HGTV?

Wednesday 8

“Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” (TLC 8 p.m.) Instead of calling Protective Services, TLC awards the most horrifying cast member of TLC’s “Toddlers & Tiaras”—6-year-old, sugar-addled, mom-abused “Honey Boo Boo Child”—her own trash TV spin-off. At least give network executives credit for setting themselves up with the next generation of reality shows: Ten years from now, the redneck Shirley Temple will very likely be a self-centered, 400-pound, meth-addicted pregnant teen—perfect for TLC!
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