The Week In Sloth: Hooters Swimsuits, Lego-Style Star Wars And “Meat America”

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 21

“Alaskan Monster Hunt: Hillstranded” (Discovery 7 p.m.) Funny story: Discovery Channel wanted to shoot a spin-off about what "Deadliest Catch" captains Jonathan and Andy Hillstrand do when they’re not hunting crab. Not much, apparently. Word is the boys got bored and refused to finish shooting the show. Discovery got all mad and threatened to sue them. Then came Internet buzz that one of the segments from the show accidentally captured footage of a pod of Cadborosaurus (better known—depending on who you talk to—as the Loch Ness Monster) swimming through the Bering Sea. Suddenly, Internet conspiracy theorists decided that Discovery was hiding the footage, because … um, conspiracy ! Turns out Discovery just decided to recut the whole thing to milk the cryptozoology angle. And here it is. All 60 highly disappointing minutes of it. Not counting commercials.

“Ugly Americans” (Comedy Central 11:30 p.m.) “Daily Show” correspondent Rob Riggle guest stars as a drill instructor in Satan’s Dark Army.

Friday 22

“The Hooters 2011 International Swimsuit Pageant” (Spike 7 p.m.) Oh, Spike, you manly, grunting, occasionally sexist excuse for a network. I’ll give you this: You know your demographic.

“Lego Star Wars: The Padawan Menace” (Cartoon Network 8 p.m.) The Lego Star Wars games are awesome. So awesome that Lucasfilm decided to do a Cartoon Network special playing off their irreverent humor and distinctive art style.

Saturday 23

“Comic-Con Live 2011” (G4 2 p.m.) If you can’t make it to this year’s San Diego Comic-Con to ogle all the cool comics, video games, TV shows and movies, you can at least watch the stars of the various G4 news shows broadcasting live from the convention floor. At some point, Sarah Underwood will be in a costume, so set your DVR.

Sunday 24

“Same Name” (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) It’s a show about people who have the same name as famous people. “Why, look, it’s an ordinary dude from Texas named David Hasselhoff. He’s not the famous David Hasselhoff. But his name is David Hasselhoff. How about that? … How much time do we have left to kill? Fifty-nine minutes? Crap.”

Monday 25

There’s Something Wrong With Aunt Diane (HBO 7 p.m.) HBO continues its Monday night documentary series. This one explores the case of a New York woman who drunkenly drove the wrong way down the Taconic Parkway and killed seven people in 2009. Hey, nobody said these things would be cheerful.

Tuesday 26

"Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated" (Cartoon Network 8:30 p.m.) CN’s darker, more realistic (and surprisingly addictive) reboot of “Scooby-Doo!” comes to the end of its long, drawn-out first season. (Seriously, this thing premiered in July 2010.) So, will we finally learn who “Mr. E” is and what the secret behind the original Mystery Incorporated might be?

Wednesday 27

“Meat America” (History 7 p.m.) A two-hour history tour of America as seen through the fat-smeared lens of our country’s meat industry. We’re talking hot dogs, hamburgers, steaks, chili.
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