Week In Sloth

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 12

“Decoding the Past: Secrets of the Dollar Bill” (History 7 p.m.) Ever wonder what all the symbols and words and crap on the dollar bill actually mean? Well, here’s a chance to find out. I’m just not sure it merits an entire hour. Not unless you include 15 or 20 minutes on the quarter as well.

“Joan Cusack’s Local Flavor” (Travel 7 p.m.) Actress Joan Cusack travels the world eating food. Tonight, she’s in Portugal. Is it too early to hope for a John Cusack cameo?

Friday 13

“1 vs. 100” (KOB-4 8 p.m.) Contestants try to win a million bucks by beating out 100 rivals in TV’s newest game show sensation. All I care is Bob Saget is back on TV!

“TCM Underground” (TCM Midnight) Major movie fan Rob Zombie (he named his band after a Bela Lugosi flick, after all) gets his own late-night show. Each week, he screens a double-feature of cult films from underappreciated directors like Russ Meyer, George Romero and Arch Hall Jr. Things kick off on a high note tonight with the unforgettable films of Ed Wood ( Plan 9 From Outer Space and Bride of the Monster ).

Saturday 14

The Final Days of Planet Earth (Hallmark 6 p.m.) Jeez, the folks at Hallmark are usually so upbeat. Tonight, in this cheese-filled three-hour miniseries, Daryl Hannah and Campbell Scott are archaeologists trying to save Earth from evil insectoid aliens hellbent on eating us or something.

Sunday 15

“The Age of Wal-Mart: Inside America’s Most Powerful Company” (CNBC 7 p.m.) I coulda been born in the Age of Kings. But no. I had to pop out in the Age of Wal-Mart.

Monday 16

Hollywood Knights (Speed 7 p.m.) As far as classic “car movies” go, this 1980 comedy ain’t one of ’em. It did, however, offer the first feature film role for Michelle Pfeiffer, give viewers a few good glimpses of a cherry ’57 Chevy and provide punk band The Newbomb Turks with the source of their name.

Tuesday 17

“Ice T’s Rap School” (VH1 9 p.m.) At first, it sounds cool. But, on second thought, do I really want to be schooled by Ice T?

Wednesday 18

“Project Runway” (Bravo 8 p.m.) Way to keep us in suspense, Bravo. Finally, after a few weeks grace time, we get to see the season finale. Last time we looked in on our designers, those tricky producers had pulled a fast one on us, allowing all four contestants to stay in for the final Fashion Week challenge. This is a hard one to handicap, but I’m thinking Michael has the most professional skills.
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