Week In Sloth

The Week In Sloth

Devin D. O'Leary
3 min read
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Thursday 30

The Ninth Configuration (WGN 6 p.m.) Not a lot of people know about this weird little thriller. Written and directed by William Peter Blatty of Exorcist fame, this 1980 cult flick stars Stacy Keach as Col. Kane, a new commanding officer who arrives at a remote military prison for insane soldiers. The only problem is Kane seems a hundred times wackier than any one under lock and key. It's a philosophical black comedy that hovers between One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Dr. Strangelove.

Friday 31

See above.

Saturday 1

“Tostitos Fiesta Bowl” (KOAT-7 7:30 p.m.) Normally, I don't condone the watching of college football. But it's New Year's Day. You're probably still recovering from last night. I doubt you or I or anyone else out there could handle much more than a college football game and a lot of naps today.

Sunday 2

Smallpox (FX 7 p.m.) Medical thrillers are really only fun when they involve really gross diseases. This made-for-TV effort has a mad terrorist injecting himself with a mutated form of smallpox so he can wipe out millions. It's filmed like a news report for added “realism.” Not that FX is trying to scare you or anything.

Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure (KOAT-7 8 p.m.) The networks have had a lot of luck with sleazy behind-the-scenes movies about famous TV shows. Here, we have all the dirt and gossip on '80s soap “Dynasty.” I can't believe that the off-camera lives of Joan Collins and Linda Evans were as juicy as their onscreen characters, but that's what's being alleged here.

Monday 3

“Medium” (KOB-4 9 p.m.) It's midseason replacement time, and tumbling NBC has got a lot of holes to fill. Here's the first of the new shows. From producer Glenn Gordon Caron (“Moonlighting”) comes this occasionally creepy drama based on the adventures of real-life psychic (or “research medium”) Allison Dubois. Patricia Arquette stars as Dubois, who went from mother and law student to psychic crime solver.

Tuesday 4

“Committed” (KOB-4 8:30 p.m.) Neurotic Nate meets upbeat Kate in this cute 'n' quirky romantic comedy from the producers of “Roseanne.” The cast is mostly unknowns, although Tom Poston (“Newhart”) does play the dying clown living in Kate's closet. … Yeah, this one could be trying a little too hard to be quirky.

Wednesday 5

“The Road to Stardom with Missy Elliot” (UPN 7 p.m.) If only the world had a show exactly like “American Idol,” only with Missy Elliot instead of Ryan Seacrest. If only …

“The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model Search” (KOB-4 8 p.m.) I can't believe it took them this long to come up with this idea for a reality show. Stick a bunch of scantily clad Sports Illustrated models in a house together, have them bitch and complain about each other each week, come up with a few lame elimination contests and slap the last gal standing on the cover of SI. Everybody wins.

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