Week In Sloth

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 1

“The Sarah Silverman Program” (Comedy Central 11:30 p.m.) Certified nasty girl comedienne Sarah Silverman plays herself (more or less) in this rude, off-kilter sitcom featuring other standup pals like the always funny Brian Posehn.

Friday 2

“The Super Bowl’s Greatest Commercials 2007” (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) Why wait until Sunday to watch all the great commercials? Play-by-play announcer Jim Nantz and long-lost MTV Latino babe Daisy Fuentes count down the top 15 ads of all time! Gosh, I hope there’s some Budweiser in there.

Saturday 3

Planet of the Apes (History Channel 6 p.m.) Charlton Heston plays an astronaut who ends up on a planet ruled by futuristic ape-men in this 1968 … Wait a minute. What channel is this on?

“The World’s Greatest Sports Bloopers” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) You know, normally you’d have to order a subscription to Sports Illustrated off late-night cable TV and wait for your free DVD/sports watch combo to see entertainment of this quality.

Sunday 4

“Puppy Bowl III” (Animal Planet 1 p.m.) If the game starts to lag or the commercials suck, I suggest you flip over to Animal Planet for a big boost. Seriously, what’s better than watching puppies romp around a tiny, fake football stadium?

“Grease: You’re the One That I Want” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Of course, if the Super Bowl is just too much testosterone for you, you can always chase it with this three-hour marathon of Broadway-bound goodness.

Monday 5

Nora Roberts’ Montana Sky (Lifetime 7 p.m.) Queen of the Supermarket Checkout Stand Romance Nora Roberts hand-stamps another made-for-TV movie. Ashley Williams (“How I Met Your Mother”) stars as one of three estranged sisters who inherit a Montana ranch. Roberts has written more than 100 books in the last 15 years. This is one of them.

“Rules of Engagement” (KRQE-13 8:30 p.m.) A lovey-dovey pair of newlyweds question their relationship thanks to their friends, a long-married and eternally squabbling couple. This new sitcom is entirely unlike FOX’s “’Til Death” in that … um, it’s on another network.

“In Style Celebrity Weddings” (KOAT-7 9 p.m.) What better way to ignore your own pathetic and colorless existence than by ogling behind-the-scenes secrets of such power-packed glamor weddings as Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott or Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley or Niki Taylor and Burney Lamar?

Tuesday 6

“Moonshine” (National Geographic 7 p.m.) National Geographic traces the history of homemade liquor. Break out a mason jar of that fine cognac that’s been fermenting in your bathtub and enjoy!

Wednesday 7

“Lost Survivor Guide” (KOAT-7 8 p.m.) Can’t remember your “Tailies” from your “Others” after that extended holiday break? ABC helps you out with a one-hour recap of the current “Lost” season. Followed at 9 p.m. by the third winter season premiere.
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