Week In Sloth

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 29

“1,000 Places to See Before You Die” (Travel Channel 7 p.m.) This new series is based on Patricia Schultz’ best-selling travel book. Of course, she never actually said you had to go to these places. Now, you can simply sit on your living room couch and see them all on a weekly basis.

Friday 30

“Heroes” (Sci-Fi 7 p.m.) Fans can revel in their favorite moments and newcomers can catch up big time with tonight’s five-episode marathon from the past season of NBC’s superheroic hit.

Saturday 31

“Civil Rights Game” (ESPN 3:30 p.m.) Spring is very nearly in the air, so how about a little pre-season baseball? Today, the St. Louis Cardinals and the Cleveland Indians go head-to-head in the annual Civil Rights Game live from Memphis, Tenn., the home of the National Civil Rights Museum. … So, wait. Is one team fighting for civil rights, and the other team fighting against it? I’m confused.

Sunday 1

“Wrestlemania 23” (Pay-Per-View 5 p.m.) Tycoon Donald Trump (surrendering his last shred of dignity) and WWE commissioner Vince McMahon (born without dignity to begin with) go at it in a grudge match. Unfortunately, they’re not actually wrestling, but choosing proxies to fight in their stead. The loser is supposed to get his head shaved–which is funny, but not as funny as watching The Donald get choke-slammed.

“Sons of Hollywood” (A&E 8 p.m.) If only there were some reality series in which we could watch rich, spoiled California twentysomethings act all rich and spoiled. Preferably on A&E or VH1. … Hold the phone, my prayers are answered!

“Reno: 911!” (Comedy Central 11:30 p.m.) After a brief foray into cineplexes, the Reno Sheriff’s Department returns for its fourth season on the Idiot Box. This season, desperate for funding, the department seeks a corporate sponsor–and ends up with a “Hooters”-style restaurant. I sense a uniform change.

Monday 2

“Prison Break” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Honestly, I haven’t been paying much attention this season. But here we are at the season finale already. Is there still a prison involved?

“The Bachelor” (KOAT-7 9 p.m.) For this, the 10 th season premiere, he’s not just a bachelor, he’s also an officer and a gentleman. … Uh, shouldn’t this guy be off fighting a war or something?

Tuesday 3

“Boston Legal” (KOAT-7 9 p.m.) A troubling case from Denny Crane’s past resurfaces. The cool part? Flashbacks, courtesy of a 1957 episode of the long-gone legal drama “The Defenders,” allow William Shatner to play the younger version of himself!

Wednesday 4

“Novel Reflections on the American Dream” (KNME-5 8 p.m.) Patricia Clarkson narrates this book club-ish special reflecting on how the characters, plots and themes of seven classic novels tackle the subject of the American Dream.
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