Week In Sloth

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 10

Traveler” (KOAT-7 9 p.m.) Three college pals get blamed for a deadly terrorist bombing in New York City. Unable to prove their innocence–and mysteriously unable to locate their third friend—stars Matthew Bomer (“Tru Calling”) and Logan Marshall-Green (“The O.C.”) spend each week on the run and trying to unravel one of those dense continuing conspiracies you can only see on “Prison Break” or “24” or “Lost” or “Heroes” or “Drive” or “Vanished.” According to ABC, “this action-packed drama taps into our paranoia” and features “a conspiracy that will take years to unravel.” In other words, it will be canceled in a few weeks and producers will be given three episodes on ABC.com in which to wrap it up.

Friday 11

Let the Good Times Roll: The Bunco World Championships” (Lifetime 9 p.m.) Apparently, this Civil War-era dice game (source of the term “Bunco Squad”) is all the rage among affluent suburban housewives. Tonight, the world’s best players (an odd designation, since the game is based entirely on luck) roll them bones for the championship.

Saturday 12

“2006 Brat Eating Championships” (ESPN2 5 p.m.) Followed at 6 p.m. by “2006 World Hamburger Eating Championships.” Followed at 7 p.m. by “2005 Hot Dog Eating Contest.” Followed at 8 p.m. by “2006 Hot Dog Eating Contest.” I’d watch them all, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be full after the first hour.

Sunday 13

“Mother’s Day Marathon” (Boomerang 10 a.m.) Spend Mother’s Day with one of animation’s most famous moms, Wilma Flintstone. This seven-hour marathon traces Wilma’s life from her first meeting with Fred to becoming a grandmother in the new animated feature Hollyrock-A-Bye Baby.

Raising Celebrity: Tales of Hollywood Moms” (E! 9 p.m.) Yeah, who raised all these drunken, drug-abusing, no-panty-wearing camera hogs anyway?

“Superjail”/ “The Drinky Crow Show” (Cartoon Network 12:30/12:45 a.m.) CN tests out two groovy new Adult Swim shows—the animated prison psychodrama “Superjail” and a cartoon spin-off of Tony Millionaire’s popular cartoon strip “Maakies” (seen in this very paper)!

Monday 14

King of Queens” (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) The longtime CBS sitcom signs off the air with a one-hour series finale. Where, oh, where will we get our weekly fix of fat-blue-collar-worker-married-to-hot-housewife humor now?

Tuesday 15

42 nd Annual CMA Awards” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) Reba McEntire hosts. Kelly Clarkson, Kenny Chesney and Brooks & Dunn perform. I turn off the TV and listen to AC/DC instead.

Wednesday 16

Rogue Nature” (Animal Planet 7 p.m.) AnPlan’s new series tracks animals that have gone “rogue,” hunting humans instead of their normal prey.

The Price is Right Million Dollar Spectacular” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) You heard right: Owd Bob is retiring after about a hundred years on TV. CBS is sending him off with a couple nights worth of specials, starting with this last primetime hurrah for Mr. Barker’s venerable gameshow.
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