Week In Sloth

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 31

2007 Scripps National Spelling Bee” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Your word is “monotonous.” Could you use it in a sentence? Certainly. “Watching a spelling bee on television sounds incredibly monotonous.” Monotonous. M-o-n-o- …

Pirate Master” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) CBS is hoping to God Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End is a major hit and that you’re hankering for a whole lot more pirate-on-pirate action. Hence, the fortuitous timing of this summer reality series in which 16 ordinary people dress up in fruity costumes, climb onboard a boat and see who can act like the biggest pirate for a $1 million prize.

Friday 1

TV’s Funniest Moments” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) The FOX network, in conjunction with the Museum of Television & Radio, assembles the 30 funniest clips from the past six decades.

Saturday 2

Hex” (BBC America 5 p.m.) After bumping off its main character at the end of the first season, what surprises does this sexy supernatural series about demons and ghosts hanging out at an English prep school have in store for us in season two? I can’t imagine, but damn is the cast good-looking.

Marco Polo (Hallmark 9 p.m.) The explorer, not the pool game, is profiled in this TV movie starring Ian Somerhalder (Boone from “Lost”) as Marco Polo and Brian Dennehy as Kublai Khan. … Seriously? Brian Dennehy as the grandson of Genghis Khan? Awesome.

Sunday 3

“Hollyoaks” (BBC America 4:30 p.m.) The BBC aims for younger auds, dumping stuff like “Benny Hill” in favor of more contempo stuff like this “OC”-esque teen soaper.

The 2007 MTV Movie Awards” (MTV 9 p.m.) Sarah Silverman hosts. … Jeez, I’d hate to be the guys manning the “bleep” button tonight.

Monday 4

Creature Comforts” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) This claymation series from Aardman Animations (creators of “Wallace & Gromit”) makes the move from BBC to CBS. The simple show takes actual on-the-street interviews and puts them in the mouths of cartoon critters, making for some amusing juxtapositions.

Hell’s Kitchen” (KASA-2 8 p.m.) Chef Gordon Ramsay returns for another season of yelling at people in kitchens. (Note: This summer series should in no way be confused with FOX’s innovative new Fall series “Kitchen Nightmares” in which chef Gordon Ramsay yells at people in kitchens.)

The Riches” (FX 11 p.m.) Will the Riches continue to get away with their suburban charade for another season, or have they been cold busted? Find out on tonight’s season finale.

Tuesday 5

The Loop” (KASA-2 7:30 p.m.) Remember this Chicago-set sitcom from last year? … Yeah, neither do I, but it’s returning tonight for its second season—all 10 episodes of which will be burned off in the next 27 days.

The 2007 Alma Awards” (KOAT-7 8 p.m.) Now that the TV season is officially over and nobody’s watching, the major networks are more than happy to devote airtime to minorities.

Wednesday 6

American Inventor” (KOAT-7 8 p.m.) It’s just like “American Idol” but with less singing. Much less singing.
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