Week In Sloth

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 4

“30 Rock”
(KOB-4 7:30 p.m.) Jerry Seinfeld returns to NBC’s “Must See TV” Thursday. … For one night anyway, thanks to his cameo (as himself) in tonight’s “30 Rock.”

Last One Standing ” (Discovery 7 p.m.) A group of extreme sports athletes from the United States and Britain travel the world, trying their hands (and feet and whatever else) at assorted manly tribal sports—from Zulu stick fighting to Akikiti kickboxing to something called Kraha log racing. Thing is, if the sport is called “Zulu stick fighting” and you’re fighting Zulus, I think the Zulus are gonna win.

“Drawn Together”
(Comedy Central 11:30 p.m.) TV’s raunchiest cartoon (Raunchier than “South Park”? Oh my, yes!) returns for a third season of animated shenanigans.

Friday 5

“Doctor Who”
(Sci-Fi 11 p.m.) The popular British import comes to the end of its season with the good Doctor battling his eternal nemesis The Master. … Ah, seems like old times.

Saturday 6

“I Want to Look Like a High School Cheerleader Again” (CMT 9:30 p.m.) Country Music Television’s new makeover show has plenty of spin-off potential. How about “I Want to Look Like a Pimply High School Theater Nerd Again”?

Sunday 7

“Classic Horror Directors: Val Lewton” (TCM 6 p.m.) TCM starts out Halloween month right with a full day of classic horror films. There are plenty to choose from, starting at 8 a.m. with a 1942 short of Poe’s “The Telltale Heart.” But the highlight of the day is a quadruple-feature of Val Lewton chillers, including 1958’s Curse of the Demon , 1942’s Cat People, 1943’s I Walked With a Zombie and 1943’s The Leopard Man . Tune in every Friday this month for a different director!

“Life is Wild”
(KWBQ-19 7 p.m.) Answering the question, “What if ‘7th Heaven’ and ‘Daktari’ had a baby?

Monday 8

“Celebrity Exposé: Britney Spears” (KASY-50 7 p.m.) Last week was Lindsay Lohan. I’m guessing next week is Paris Hilton. After that … Well, there’s always reruns.

Tuesday 9

“A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila” (MTV 11 p.m.) It must be really lonely living in Hollywood. Why else would so many actors, models, singers, etc., turn to MTV in hopes of finding a date? The twist in this latest reality/dating show is that the star (Vietnamese Playboy/Maxim/Stuff cover babe Tila Tequila) is bisexual.

Wednesday 10

“Pageant Place”
(MTV 11:30 p.m.) In its continuing quest to make everyone in America look selfish, snobbish, overly entitled and generally annoying, MTV presents this reality series (produced by Donald Trump) in which Miss Universe, Miss USA and Miss Teen USA are forced to live in the same “Big Brother”-esque New York apartment for a year. Can you imagine the craziness that will ensue in that household. … Hmm. Yeah, I’m trying really hard, but all I’m coming up with is a weekly spat over whose mousse is whose.
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