Week In Sloth

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 11

“Lucasfilm Documentaries”
(History 9 p.m.) George Lucas’ company is now supplying the History Channel with high-quality historical documentaries, like tonight’s double-feature on Archduke Franz Ferdinand and Sigmund Freud. … But not before suckering the network into airing an old episode of “The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones” at 7 p.m.

Friday 12

Wild, Wild Planet (TMC 4 a.m.) Yeah, yeah, I know. Just set your TiVo, because you want to see this eye-boggling 1965 sci-fi film from Italian Z-grade king Antonio Margheriti. I’m not saying it’s good, but if you’ve ever wanted to see what a science fiction film directed by Austin Powers would look like, this is it.

“Women’s Murder Club”
(KOAT-7 8 p.m.) Pop mystery novelist James Patterson produces his first TV series, a breezy drama about four tough chicks (a detective, an ME, a reporter and a lawyer) who solve crimes in San Francisco.

“America’s Psychic Challenge”
(Lifetime 8 p.m.) This new reality show competition pits supernaturally endowed psychics against one another. Each week, the least-accurate mystics will be booted. … I suspect the bigger problem will be finding a single contestant who is even remotely accurate.

Saturday 13

“The Search for the Next Elvira”
(FOX Reality 11 a.m.) I’m not sure we need another Elvira, but this reality show competition will find one for us. One of the competitors is Lola Davidson, a “personal assistant” from Albuquerque. Feel free to cheer her on.

The Gathering (Lifetime 7 p.m.) A surgeon believes his beloved wife has been kidnapped by witches in this Lifetime movie. Peter Gallagher (“The O.C.”), Jamie-Lynn Sigler (“The Sopranos”) and Peter Fonda ( Easy Rider ) star.

Sunday 14

“Keeping Up With the Kardashians”
(E! 11:30 p.m.) With all of Hollywood’s other talentless heiresses pregnant, in rehab or in jail, it now falls to the skankiest of celebutantes, Kim Kardashian, to uphold the reality show tradition. (Like pal Paris, Kim’s already got her own homemade porn tape!) Here, she drags the rest of her overprivileged clan (Khloe, Kendall, Kourtney, Kylie and Kris) along for the ride.

Monday 15

“Samantha Who?”
(KOAT-7 8:30 p.m.) Christina Applegate stars in this new sitcom about a psychiatrist who suffers from amnesia and is forced to find out what kind of person she really is.

“The Salt-n-Pepa Show”
(VH1 8 p.m.) Remember them? Yeah, barely. Well, their business card got pulled out of a hat, because they’ve got their own reality show now in which the long-retired rap duo tries to make a musical comeback. The wacky twist? Salt is now a born-again Christian. Pepa is still a party girl.

Tuesday 16

“2 Dudes Catering”
(Food Network 8:30 p.m.) Two hot young chefs try their hand at the cutthroat Hollywood catering biz. A hip culinary companion piece to FN’s rock ’n’ roll frosting show “Ace of Cakes.”

Wednesday 17

“BET Presents The Hip-Hop Awards”
(BET 6 p.m.) BET returns to “Hot”lanta for this second annual music awards shindig. … I sure hope Kanye West wins, otherwise he’s gonna have to swear off another network.
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