Week In Sloth

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 29

“Cribs: 50 Cent” (MTV 11:30 p.m.) Has it really taken MTV’s “Cribs” this long to get around to 50 Cent? Because in my mind, his place is extra crib-tacular.

Friday 30

“My Night at the Grammys” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) Remember the Grammy Awards? They were handed out in February . Well, since there’s nothing to show on TV these days, CBS is giving you a chance to relive the musical magic by letting viewers choose their top 25 Grammy moments. … Wow, even the awards shows are reruns right now.

Saturday 1

“Radio City Music Hall 75 th Anniversary Christmas Show” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Meredith Viera and Matt Lauer host the annual high-kicking holiday spectacular. … It’s always a bad sign when morning show hosts are allowed outside their timeslot.

“Curse of Diana’s Dresses” (WE 8 p.m.) Were Princess Diana’s dresses cursed? Did they contribute to her death? Does this haunted haute couture continue to bedevil those who dare to touch its demonic seams and evil hemlines? … I’m gonna say no, but WE has an hour to fill, so they’re probably gonna go with yes.

Sunday 2

Tin Man (Sci-Fi 7 p.m.) Sci-Fi Channel contributes this dark, modern update of L. Frank Baum’s classic tales of Oz. This splashy miniseries will run for three nights in a row. Zooey Deschanel ( Almost Famous, Elf) plays a very grown-up Dorothy, while Richard Dreyfuss cameos as our once-titular Wizard.

Mr. Warmth: The Don Rickles Project (HBO 9 p.m.) How is it that a fellow who has spent his entire career insulting people is one of the most beloved guys in show business? Find out with this documentary/concert film.

Monday 3

“A Charlie Brown Christmas” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) If you can’t, at this point, recite every line from this thing, then TV did not do a proper job of raising you.

“Santa’s Funniest Moments” (KASY-50 7 p.m.) It’s safe to assume this will not include any clips from Fred Claus .

“Heroes” (KOB-4 8 p.m.) If you’re a glass half full type of person, then this is the much-anticipated season finale of “Heroes.” If you’re a glass half empty type of person, then this is merely the last episode the producers could film before the writers’ strike shut them down, hastily glued together into something that vaguely resembles a final chapter.

Tuesday 4

“Christmas Glory: In the Key of Love” (KASY-50 7 p.m.) If you like your Christmas all churchy and gospel-filled, then this all-star choir concert will fill that need nicely.

“Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” (KRQE-13 9 p.m.) If, on the other hand, you like your Christmas all trampy and nipple-filled, then this all-star lingerie show will fill that need nicely.

Wednesday 5

“Larry the Cable Guy Christmas Special” (VH1 7 p.m.) Not on my watch, Goober.

“What’s Eating Victoria Beckham?” (WE 8 p.m.) Cross your fingers and hope for “rabid Siberian tiger.”
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