Week In Sloth

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 27

“Miss Guided” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Screwed out of her first big TV appearance as Miss Golden Globes on the Golden Globes (canceled due to the Writers strike), Rumer Willis gets revenge with a sitcom cameo. Watch this Teenage Frankenstein act and try to guess which leftover parts her parents (Demi Moore, Bruce Willis) used to construct her.

Friday 28

“Battlestar Galactica: Revisited” (Sci-Fi 8 p.m.) The producers and writers of “Battlestar Galactica” jog our memories of what’s happened over the last few seasons just in time to get us all psyched about the final season (starting April 4). Followed at 8:30 p.m. by “Battlestar Galactica: The Phenomenon,” which hopefully will prove we’re not a bunch of geeks for liking the show.

Saturday 29

“21 st Annual Kids Choice Awards” (Nickelodeon 6 p.m.) Jack Black hosts and it’s a pretty good bet that the Jonas Brothers will be involved in some way. … On a sobering sidenote: If you actually voted in the very first Kids Choice Awards 21 years ago, you can no longer be classified as a kid.

Sunday 30

“Who Cares About Girls: Sex Workers or Victims?” (Oxygen 8 p.m.) Lisa Ling investigates the modern world of prostitution. This sounds like a serious journalistic report, but it could just be a cheap excuse to interview celebrity hooker du jour Ashely Dupre.

Crash N’ Burn (Spike 8 p.m.) Erik Palladino (“ER”) and Michael Madsen ( Reservoir Dogs ) star in this made-for-TV version of The Fast and the Furious about an FBI agent who goes undercover to nab a ring of high-speed car thieves. Nice cars, though.

Monday 31

“The Bachelor” (KOAT-7 8:36 p.m.) Do you love “The Bachelor”? Do you find that one hour simply isn’t enough to luxuriate in the brilliance of this TV dating show? Are 90-minute specials six minutes too long for your attention span? Boy have I got a solution for you: tonight’s 84-minute long episode of “The Bachelor”!

Tuesday 1

“Hell’s Kitchen” (KASA-2 8 p.m) Gordon Ramsay returns to berate, scream at and cuss out a new crop of wannabe chefs.

“Live to be 150 … Can You Do It?” (KOAT-7 9:02 p.m.) You? … Oh, hell, no.

Wednesday 2

“The Real World Awards Bash” (MTV 11 p.m.) Cast members from all the past seasons get together to give each other awards. Like what? Best Drunk? Best Hot Tub Hookup? … Actually, those are probably real categories.

“DEA” (Spike 9 p.m.) Spike rides shotgun with the DEA with this new reality series, which at least sounds more exciting than A&E’s meter maid reality series “Parking Wars.”
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