Week In Sloth

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 14

"XXIX Summer Olympics"(KOB-4 7 p.m.) Hey, the Olympics are on—did ya know? Tonight: the women’s individual all-around gymnastics finals, swimming finals, beach volleyball and canoeing. Sweet!

"Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List" (Bravo 8 p.m.) The fourth season of Kathy’s homage to her less-than-celebrity celebrity status comes to an end with tonight’s episode. Kathy visits our troops in the Walter Reed Army Medical Center to prove laughter really is the best medicine. You go, girlfriend!

Friday 15

"XXIX Summer Olympics"(KOB-4 7 p.m.) Hey, the Olympics! Tonight: pretty much the same as yesterday but with a track-and-field bonus.

"WWE Friday Night SmackDown!" (The CW 7 p.m.) Two-hours of the world’s greatest sporting non-event. Something about someone named Edge and the reinstatement of Undertaker. Brutal, brutal drama.

Saturday 16

True Confessions of a Go-Go Girl (Lifetime 7 p.m.) Jane McCoy really wants to be an actress (forgoing her original plans to attend law school), but in order to pay the bills she takes up go-go dancing. A rapid spiral into identity-loss hell follows, as does a "We told you so" from her parents.

"XXIX Summer Olympics"(KOB-4 7 p.m.) Olympics. Tonight. Swimming. Track. Medals. Woo.

Sunday 17

Kung Fu Killer (Spike TV 8 p.m.) The manly men of Spike TV offer up a day of bad-ass martial arts movies ( Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior, Hero) before the debut of another potentially bad-ass martial arts flick: Kung Fu Killer . The high-kicking, action-driven plot focuses on the mission of White Crane (David Carradine), a Caucasian monk out to avenge his Wudang grand master. Somewhere in there Daryl Hannah shows up as a lounge singer. Does Daryl know Kung Fu?

"The Comedy Central Roast: Bob Saget" (Comedy Central 11 p.m.) Mr. "Full House" takes the hot seat for a celebrity roast that will surely contain a fair share of Olsen twin and "America’s Funniest Videos"-esque nut-shot jokes. How could it not?

"XXIX Summer Olympics" (KOB-4 6 p.m.) Now with diving!

Monday 18

"Into the Unknown with Josh Bernstein" (Discovery 8 p.m.) This new show on Discovery promises adventure, mystery, ancient riddles, exotic locations and epic quests. In short, everything awesome about Discovery Channel. Tonight’s premiere delves into intimate knowledge of gladiators. Yummy.

"XXIX Summer Olympics" (KOB-4 7 p.m.)

Tuesday 19

"Jurassic Fight Club" (History 7 p.m.) Human vs. human battles are pansy compared to dinosaur vs. dinosaur, so ignore the Greco-Roman wrestling in Beijing. History Channel pits the Jurassic’s top predators against one another in the bloodiest of showdowns. Tonight: The allosaurus and the ceratosaurus meet ringside in a fight for gold.

"XXIX Summer Olympics" (KOB-4 7 p.m.) ..

Wednesday 20

"Lewis Black’s Root of All Evil" (Comedy Central 8:30 p.m.) Lewis Black "mediates" as two comedians/lawyers argue whether the Olympic games or drinking games is the Antichrist. Given the TV programming options during the games, it’s possible we’re witnessing the end of time in primetime.

"XXIX Summer Olympics" (KOB-4 7 p.m.) .

—Amy Dalness
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