Week In Sloth

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 4

“Sunday Night Football” (KOB-4 5 p.m.) Not to get all pedantic, but you can’t actually broadcast “Sunday Night Football” on a “special night and time.” By showing Washington at New York here and now, it becomes “Thursday Early Evening Football.”

“Kitchen Nightmares: Revisited” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Chef Gordon Ramsay returns to restaurants he’s helped make over to see what they’re like today. … What are the odds he’s gonna be pissed by what he sees?

Friday 5

“Stand Up to Cancer” (KOB-4/KOAT-7/KRQE-13 7 p.m.) All three networks are airing this commercial-free cancer awareness special aimed at raising significant funds for translational cancer research. And what better way to become aware of this crazy new thing called cancer than by listening to hit songs by Carrie Underwood, Mariah Carey, Fergie, Rihanna and Miley Cyrus?

“Samurai Girl” (ABC Family 7 p.m.) This six-hour miniseries (based on the young adult books by Carrie Asai) concerns a teenage orphan who becomes a samurai in order to fight off evil Yakuza forces that have infiltrated her adoptive family.

Saturday 6

“Cops: Back to Broward” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) “COPS” celebrates its 21 st season by going back to the place that started it all, Broward County, Fla. Those in the know should feel free to sing choice lyrics from 2 Live Crew’s “Banned in the U.S.A.” album–particularly the ones that reference Broward County Sheriff Nick Navarro.

Sunday 7

“Hole in the Wall” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) FOX remakes a hit Japanese game show in which contestants play a sort of human version of Tetris, contorting their bodies to fit through holes in a moving wall or getting bumped into a pool of water. Honest.

“America United: In Support of Our Troops” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) ABC executives put their bumper stickers where their mouths are, staging this two-hour special. And how are they supporting our troops? By giving them much-needed equipment, pushing for an end to stop-loss policies, actually pulling servicemen and women out of harm’s way, backing quality veterans health care, the G.I. Bill or pay raises on par with outsourced government contractors? Hell, no! By letting Jessica Simpson sing at them.

“2008 VMA Awards” (MTV 10 p.m.) Why does MTV put this show on so late? Don’t they know kids have class tomorrow?

“True Blood” (HBO 10 p.m.) Alan Ball (“Six Feet Under”) gives us another unusual drama. Instead of gay morticians, we’ve got “outed” vampires, sipping on artificial blood and living in suburban America.

Monday 8

“Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Garbage rocker Shirley Manson joins the second season cast as a rather unlikely corporate CEO.

Tuesday 9

“Fringe” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) FOX’s new sci-fi/supernatural series is patterned closely after “The X-Files”–which may not be such a good idea, considering how the last X-Files movie did at the box office.

“Fashion Rocks” (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) Throw some musicians and a couple models up on stage. Wait 60 minutes. Broadcast.

“Privileged” (KWBQ-19 8 p.m.) A soapy show about spoiled rich kids? Sounds like quite a contrast to evening opener “90210” … Or the rest of CW’s lineup, for that matter.

Wednesday 10

“Do Not Disturb” (KASA-2 8:30 p.m.) It’s a wacky, hotel-based sitcom starring Niecy “Reno 911!” Nash and Jerry “Yup, still married to Rebecca Romjin” O’Connell.
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