Thursday 10
“The O.C.” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Forget the show. They're broadcasting the new Star Wars trailer at some point during tonight's episode.
“The Hollow Men” (Comedy Central 11:30 p.m.) In the grand tradition of “Monty Python” and “Kids in the Hall,” CC unleashes what could be the next great sketch comedy series, featuring a quartet of British guys who like to dress up in drag. Brits in drag? Always funny.
Friday 11
“Stargate: SG-1” (Sci-Fi Channel 6 p.m.) In this special 90-minute episode, SG-1 ponders its past, present and future (sounds to me like a clip show), while Daniel (Michael Shanks) weighs trading his own life to save the universe (sounds to me like somebody's contract is up).
Saturday 12
Mansquito (Sci-Fi Channel 7 p.m.) A scientist trying to find a cure for West Nile Virus transforms herself and a junkie into mutant mosquito creatures. I can never tell if the folks at Sci-Fi Channel are serious or are just pulling my leg. I mean, Mansquito?
Sunday 13
“Jake in Progress” (KOAT-7 8 p.m.) John “No, I'm Not Married to That Hot Chick Anymore” Stamos gets a career makeover with this comedy/romance about a womanizing New York publicist who decides it's time to give up his bachelor ways.
“Celebrity Fit Club” (VH1 8 p.m.) Which celeb lost the most weight? Find out in tonight's season finale. … On a side note: If one of your “celebrities” is the lady from the Snapple commercials, I think you're guilty of seriously abusing the term.
Monday 14
Deadly Isolation (Lifetime 7 p.m.) Two nasty ex-cons hunt down the widow of their old partner in crime looking for $20 million in stolen loot. Normally, me and my Y chromosome steer clear of the Lifetime Network, but this movie involves no romance and/or terminal illnesses. Plus, it stars Sherilyn Fenn, whom I've had wicked fantasies about since “Twin Peaks.”
Tuesday 15
“Project: Greenlight” (Bravo 7 p.m.) Matt Damon and Ben Affleck's baby moves to Bravo for a third season. Stung by the failure of the previous art house bombs this series has produced, the boys decide to make a low-budget horror film helmed by an unknown auteur. Wes Craven is onboard as the first-time filmmaker's mentor. Ooh, I hope it'll be as good as Cursed.
“Impossible Heists” (Court TV 8 p.m.) Court TV combines Ocean's Eleven with ”Survivor,” daring contestants to break into high security facilities. The first team to make it past all the lasers, pressure sensors, motion detectors, security guards and hungry lions, gets to keep the expensive item they're stealing.
“The Shield” (FX 11 p.m.) Glenn Close climbs on board the cable train as the new big boss in charge of Det. Vic Mackey's corrupt little precinct. I sense conflict.
Wednesday 16
“TV Land Awards 2005” (TV Land 7 p.m.) Cedric the Entertainer helps hand out awards to old TV performers who may or may not be dead by now.
