Week In Sloth

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 4

“HowStuffWorks” (Discovery 6 p.m.) Perhaps I’m just better educated than the average TV viewer, but tonight’s subject–“timber”–just doesn’t hold a lot of allure for me. I mean, I’ve never sat around wondering about the inner workings of a 2×4. The Space Shuttle, sure. Wood, not so much.

“Barbara Walters Presents The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2008” (KOAT-7 9:01 p.m.) On a similar note, I’ve never once found Tom Cruise, Rush Limbaugh or Miley Cyrus to be “fascinating.”

Friday 5

“The Greatest Holiday Moments: TV & Film Countdown” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) If you just can’t bear sitting through Miracle on 34 th Street or that very special episode of “The Cosby Show” again, NBC comes to your rescue. It’s like “Cliff’s Notes” on all the seasonal specials you’re sick and tired of by now.

Saturday 6

Christmas Choir (Hallmark 7 p.m.) Under normal circumstances, the fine folks as Hallmark need no excuse to pour on the schmaltz. But give them a holiday like Christmas and it’s Katie bar the door! Here, we’ve got homeless people, overworked office drones in need of Important Life Lessons, Christmas carols and Rhea Perlman.

Sunday 7

The Librarian 3: Curse of the Judas Chalice (TNT 6 p.m.) Noah Wyle returns as the world’s wussiest action hero, hunting down more biblical artifacts with the able assistance of the Dewey Decimal System. … Hate to break it to you, kid, but Indiana Jones already found all the good stuff.

House of Saddam (HBO 7 p.m.) HBO turns the rise of Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein into a juicy, soap-operatic miniseries.

Front of the Class (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) Treat Williams in the inspirational true story of a high school teacher afflicted with Tourette’s Syndrome? Not just yes, but f*#% yes! … Man, I’m getting letters on that one.

Monday 8

“Boston Legal” (KOAT-7 8 p.m.) David E. Kelley’s long-running lawyer series rests its case with tonight’s series finale. But where will we go for our weekly Shatner fix? … Oh, right, he’s already got a new talk show over on the Biography Channel.

Tuesday 9

Captain America (KTFQ-14 7 p.m.) How to make the craptacular 1992 film version of Marvel’s venerable superhero even more ridiculous? Dub it en español . “El Cránio Rojo! Aye, carumba!”

“Manhunters: Fugitive Task Force” (A&E 8 p.m.) Keep in mind, jobseekers, if you’re looking for a career in the bounty hunter field, roughly half your money will come from the actual apprehension of criminals, while the other half will be derived from your TV reality show.

Wednesday 10

“Little Spirit: Christmas in New York” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) All the good fairy tales, poems and Christmas carols have already been turned into holiday specials–hence, this weird CGI toon featuring the voices of Danny DeVito, Lucy Liu and Brian Williams. Kids love Brian Williams.

“Mythbusters: Holiday Special” (Discovery 7 p.m.) If they had any balls, they’d start right in with that whole “Santa” thing.
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