Thursday 15 “Saw for Hire” (TLC 7 p.m.) A docu-reality show about people who trim trees for a living? Honestly? You’re gonna go with that, TLC? “The Beast” (A&E 8 p.m.) We may not have “The Shield” anymore, but at least we have this weak imitation starring Patrick Swayze, the Swayziest man alive. “CSI” (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) Say bye-bye to William Petersen’s Gil Grissom. He’s Audi. “Notorious” (Travel Channel 8 p.m.) Travel Channel’s new series concentrates on all the reasons why you wouldn’t want to visit a place. Tonight: San Francisco with the Zodiac Killer, the murder of Harvey Milk and the Fatty Arbuckle rape scandal. “Treasure Quest” (Discovery 8 p.m.) Real-life treasure hunters hope to unearth lost fortunes. First up: sunken gold in the English Channel. Hey, it could happen. Friday 16 “Friday Night Lights” (KOB-4 8 p.m.) NBC finally gets around to airing the new season, which premiered last year on DirectTV. “Battlestar Galactica” (Sci-Fi 8 p.m.) The final episodes hit the airwaves, a scant 217 days after last season’s apocalyptic finale. It’s about fraking time! Saturday 17 The Immortal Voyage of Captain Drake (Sci-Fi 7 p.m.) “Highlander” dude Adrian Paul returns as Sir Francis Drake, who’s racing around the globe searching for a mystical cure for a sultan’s dying son. … Funny, I don’t remember that incident in the history books. Sunday 18 “Big Love” (HBO 7 p.m.) HBO celebrates polyamory and Jesus love with a third season of “Big Love.” “The L Word” (Showtime 7 p.m.) The final season of Showtime’s L.A.-is-for-lesbians drama gets underway with the first of eight episodes. “The United States of Tara” (Showtime 8 p.m.) From producer Steven Spielberg and writer Cody Diablo ( Juno ) comes this new comedy series about a suburban housewife (Toni Collette) with multiple personalities. “Look Around You” (Cartoon Network 2 a.m.) Adult Swim welcomes this hilarious BBC spoof of low-rent ’70s and ’80s educational programs. The tone is painfully sincere, but the information is 100 percent incorrect. Sample: “Germs originated in Germany.” Monday 19 “The American Future: A History By Simon Shama” (BBC America 7 p.m.) What is America’s future? Who would know better than the British? “Little People: Just Married” (TLC 8 p.m.) TLC loves little people almost as much as it loves people who are overly fertile. Tuesday 20 “Presidential Inaugural Celebration” (QVC 7 p.m.) In case, you know, there’s a shortage of Barack Obama commemorative plates and/or collectors’ coins around your house. Wednesday 21 “Lost” (KOB-4 8 p.m.) OK, so what the hell is up with that frozen donkey wheel thing ? “Lie to Me” (KASA-2 8:02 p.m.) Tim Roth leads this new crime drama (of the “quirky genius detective” school) as a psychiatrist who’s a human lie detector.
Week In Sloth
The Week In Sloth
Alibi
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3 min read
