Week In Sloth

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 14

“Bones” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Mötley Crüe guest stars on the season finale of FOX’s cute coroner series? Funny, I always thought of the Crüe as more of a “Law & Order: SVU” type of band.

“30 Rock” (KOB-4 8:31 p.m.) Not to be outdone by FOX’s season-ending musical stunt, NBC rounds up Mary J. Blige, Sheryl Crow and Elvis Costello for guest spots on this season’s last “30 Rock” ep.

Friday 15

“Prison Break” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) FOX’s often nutty action drama signs off the air after four seasons’ worth of prison breaks, government conspiracies, looney villains, cannibalism, top-secret computer chips and full-body tattoos.

“Don’t Tell the Bride” (BBC America 7 p.m.) In this new reality series, grooms are given four weeks and $20,000 to plan every detail of a dream wedding. The only stipulation: They can’t tell the bride about any of it. Oh yeah, this sounds like a really good idea. I envision a lot of Green Bay Packers-themed weddings and a bunch of pissed-off brides. … Of course, since this is the BBC, it’ll be a lot of Manchester United-themed weddings, but the end results should be the same.

Saturday 16

“Beverly Hills Groomer” (Animal Planet 9 p.m.) “Groomer Has It” winner Artist Knox (no, really) starts his own portable dog grooming business in Beverly Hills. Once again, reality TV ensures that another generation of reality TV show competitors endures. God bless you, “Beverly Hills Groomer,” “New York Goes to Work,” “The Celebrity Apprentice” and “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here.” You’re doing the Lord’s work. Think about it: If not for “Celebrity Poker Showdown” and “Celebrity Bull Riding Challenge,” Johnny Fairplay would be just another forgotten “Survivor” loser.

“MADtv” (KASA-2 10) FOX’s 14-season sketch comedy series signs off for the final time tonight. Expect guest appearances from alums like Will Sasso and Mo Collins, but probably not alums with jobs like Nicole Sullivan and Frank Caliendo.

Sunday 17

“Survivor: Tocantins” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) Speaking of endurant reality show losers: Lunatic tough-guy Coach will undoubtedly lose in tonight’s season finale. But expect him to have a long career popping up on “Big Brother,” “Celebrity Mole” or some sort of “Real World/Road Rules Challenge.”

How Bruce Lee Changed the World (History 7 p.m.) Amen to that, brother!

“Dane Cook: ISolated INcident” (Comedy Central 9 p.m.) Dane Cook stands in front of an audience at L.A.’s Laugh Factory for some indeterminate reason. It could be that he’s performing some kind of act, but it’s unclear what the purpose of said act might be. Some in the entertainment industry have speculated that it’s a lengthy “comedy” routine, but that’s obviously not the case.

Monday 18

“4 th and Long” (Spike 8 p.m.) Michael Irvin gives football hopefuls a shot at the Dallas Cowboys roster in this new reality show competition.

Tuesday 19

“Glee” (KASA-2 8:01 p.m.) FOX uses the plush, post-“American Idol” finale slot to tease this high school glee club tryouts sitcom.

Wednesday 20

“American Idol” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Technically, the “American Idol” competition ended last night, but FOX wastes 127 minutes tonight announcing the winner.
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