Week In Sloth

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 9

“Big Brother” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) It’s just not summer without another pointless season of “Big Brother.”

Friday 10

“Eureka” (SyFy 7 p.m.) SyFy’s small-town-sheriff-polices-small-town-full-of-wacky-mad-scientists show kicks off another season of weird crime.

Beyond the Fog (AMC Midnight) This 1972 horror cheapie out of England is also known as Tower of Evil and Horror on Snape Island . In it, an intrepid detective and some horny archaeologists search for an ancient Phoenician treasure off the coast of England while an unknown killer bumps them off one by one. It’s got some gore, a little bit of nudity and quite a collection of bell-bottom jeans.

Saturday 11

Sand Serpents (SyFy 7 p.m.) Call me a genius if you must, but I’m already sensing the greatest Sci-Fi (sorry, SyFy) Channel Original Movie mash-up of all time: Ice Spiders vs. Sand Serpents .

“Harper’s Island” (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) We finally get to see who’s been killing off all the cast members in this horror/mystery series finale. … Seriously, is anybody left?

“Eli Stone” (KOAT-7 9 p.m.) ABC’s crazy, hallucinating lawyer series goes quietly into that good night with a series-ending finale.

Sunday 12

“Wild Pacific” (Discovery 7 p.m.) Discovery spends a little time in the South seas, checking out the wildlife, the geology, the ecology and so on. If you love volcanos, sharks and beaches, tune in all week for more “Wild Pacific” specials.

“Drop Dead Diva” (Lifetime 7 p.m.) In this gender-flipped sitcom twist on Heaven Can Wait , a vapid fashion model finds herself reincarnated into the body of a plus-size attorney. Paula Abdul, Liza Minnelli, Rosie O’Donnell and Tim Gunn are all lined up to be guest stars, making this—arguably—the gayest show ever.

“Meteor” (KOB-4 8 p.m.) NBC kicks off “Survival Sundays” with the start of this four-hour disaster-heavy miniseries starring Jason Alexander, Billy Campbell, Christopher Lloyd and Marla Sokoloff. Sounds like a giggle, but didn’t ABC just get done hurling giant rocks Earthward at a high rate of speed in its Impact miniseries?

Monday 13

“Teddy: In His Own Words” (HBO 7 p.m.) The life and career of Sen. Ted Kennedy—which, given the mortality rate of famous people lately, comes none too soon.

Tuesday 14

“Major League All-Star Game” (KASA-2 6 p.m.) It’s kinda like an East Coast / West Coast rap feud—only with hot dogs instead of Uzis.

Wednesday 15

“Dark Blue” (TNT 8 p.m.) TNT makes up for TV’s shocking lack of cop drama with this gritty show about undercover police officers starring Dylan McDermott.
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