Thursday 7
“Life As We Know It” (KOAT-7 8 p.m.) This looks like your average teen drama, but it is based on the popular young adult novel Doing It by Melvin Burgess and is supervised by the producers of the late, great Freaks and Geeks. Plus it stars Kelly Osbourne. … Well, let's hope she's a better actor than singer.
“Drew Carey's Green Screen” (KWBQ-19 7:30 p.m.) Drew Carey, now free of ABC (or vice versa), heads over to The WB for a high-tech upgrade of his old improve show “Whose Line Is It Anyway?”
Friday 8
“Star Trek: Enterprise” (KASY-50 7 p.m.) Captain Archer wakes up in '40s Germany and finds that aliens are helping the Nazis win the war. … Seriously, what's up with “Star Trek” and the Nazis? I mean, yeah, the costumes are cheap to rent; but who needs friggin' Nazis when you've got Klingons?
“Presidential Debate” (KASA-2, KOB-4, KNME-5, KOAT-7, KRQE-13 7 p.m.) Kerry and W. debate each other in a “town hall”-style showdown. I'm just surprised we still have town halls.
Saturday 9
Halloweentown Marathon (Disney 6 p.m.) Disney shows off its newest Halloweentown movie (about a young witch defending her small hometown from monsters) with a triple feature: Halloweentown at 6 p.m., Halloweentown II: Kalabar's Revenge at 7:30 and the brand new Halloweentown High at 9 p.m.
Frankenfish (Sci-Fi 8 p.m.) … You had me at “Frankenfish.”
Sunday 10
Frankenstein (USA 7 p.m.) The Frankenstein myth gets updated to modern day New Orleans with a cast that includes Parker Posey, Adam Goldberg, Michael Madsen and Vincent Perez. (Not too shabby.) It's actually a pilot for a TV series written by Dean R. Koontz, directed by Marcus Nispel (the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake) and produced by Martin Scorsese. (Again, not too shabby.)
Monday 11
“Men With Breasts” (TLC 7 p.m.) Here's a documentary about gynecomastia, a syndrome that causes overdevelopment of the male breast tissue. … Huh. I could have lived a full, rich life without ever knowing that little tidbit.
Tuesday 12
“Manhunt: The Search for America's Most Gorgeous Male Model” (Bravo 8 p.m.) Stacked up next to other network offerings “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” “Boy Meets Boy” and “Gay Weddings,” this is looking more like “Bravo: The Search for America's Most Upscale Gay Viewers.”
Wednesday 13
“Presidential Debate” (KASA-2, KOB-4, KNME-5, KOAT-7, KRQE-13 7 p.m.) The first presidential debate covered foreign policy. This final debate is scheduled to cover national issues. I guarantee W. is sweating this one out. What's he gonna do if he can't talk about Iraq? I give him a minute and a half before he brings it up anyway.
