Week In Sloth

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Thursday 6

The iHeartRadio Festival—Night One” (KWBQ-19 7pm) U2, Usher, Sting, Billy Idol, Britney Spears, Drake, Pitbull and Florida Georgia Line perform—because they’re popular. Ryan Seacrest hosts—because he’s required by law to host everything.

“Halloween Wars: Most Monstrous Scares” (Food Network 6pm) “Halloween Wars” looks back over the scariest creations various teams of expert pumpkin carvers, cake decorators and sugar artists could come up with in the past five season. “Scariest” being relative, of course. And limited to the realm of dessert-based terrors.

Friday 7

The Swap (Disney 9pm) I’m fairly confident you could write a book about all the Disney films in which people magically swap minds/bodies/lives. In this case it’s a high school gymnast and a hockey player.

“My Life is a Telenovela” (WE 11pm) This documentary series introduced audiences to the late-night soap operas popular throughout the Latin world and to the “drama, intrigue and betrayal that happens both on and off the screen.”

“Lewis Black: Black to the Future” (Comedy Central 11pm) Now what could possibly be getting poor Lewis Black all worked up this election season?

Saturday 8

“All-Star Halloween Spectacular” (Food Network 6pm) Drew Scott and Tia Mowry team up against Jonathan Scott and Duff Goldman to create two life-sized haunted houses full of “over the top special effects, freaky concoctions and tasty treats.” I’ll be watching as long as one of them ends up murdered.

Mommy’s Secret (Lifetime 6pm) Ooh, don’t tell me! Drug addict? Prostitute? Serial killer? No? … Bank robber? Huh. Not as salacious as I was thinking, Lifetime.

Sunday 9

“The Second Presidential Debate” (KASA-2/KOB-4/KNME-5/KOAT-7/KRQE-13 7pm) The Surgeon General has advised viewers not to play any drinking games in which alcohol is consumed every time one of the candidates says something stupid during the presidential debates. That’s probably wise.

“Divorce” (HBO 8pm) A middle-aged couple (Sarah Jessica Parker and Thomas Haden Church) start to examine their marriage in this dark comedy from British creator Sharon Horgan (“Pulling,” “Catastrophe”).

“Insecure” (HBO 8:30pm) Former YouTube sensation Issa Rae created and stars in this sitcom which is being touted as the ethnic answer to “Sex in The City” and “Girls.”

Monday 10

“Supergirl” (KWBQ-19 7pm) For its second season, “Supergirl” flies from CBS to The WB—where it probably should have been in the first place.

Tuesday 11

“American Housewife” (KOAT-7 7:30pm) Katy Mixon (from “Mike & Molly”) stars in this sitcom. As a housewife.

“Channel Zero” (Syfy 7pm) This new horror anthology is based entirely on various “creepypasta” memes lifted from the internet. In related news, Sony is developing an animated movie based on emoji. No, really.

Wednesday 12

“Criss Angel: Trick’d Up” (A&E 8pm) Well, if Hot Topic can stay in business, I guess Criss Angel can too.

“That Awkward Game Show” (Spike TV 8pm) Parents and their adult offspring must answer embarrassing questions about one another in order to win prizes.
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