Week In Sloth

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Thursday 8

“The Selection: Special Operations Experiment” (History 8:03pm) Yup, it’s yet another in TV’s now endless line of reality game show-ish competitions that force ordinary people to endure military-style basic training (for no prize money). Just watch Full Metal Jacket instead.

Friday 9

“White Rabbit Project” (Netflix streaming anytime) Former “Mythbusters” Grant Imahara, Tory Belleci and Kari Byron are on Netflix now, testing science-based myths. … Just don’t call it “Mythbusters.”

“Albert” (Nickelodeon 5pm) In this animated special, a tiny Douglas fir tree named Albert dreams of becoming Empire City’s most famous Christmas tree. … So, lemme get this straight, Al: You’re a sentient tree who wants to have his roots hacked off with an ax, get tarted up like an elven streetwalker and be fed into a woodchipper come January?

“Joe Pera Helps You Find the Perfect Christmas Tree” (Cartoon Network 1am) Actor/director/comedian Joe Pera (“The Pancake Breakfast Critic”) assists you with your holiday decorating. … Hey, I know this Douglas fir name Albert.

Saturday 10

A Christmas Wedding Date (Lifetime 6pm) I think it’s cute that you’re going for a slice of the made-for-TV holiday rom-com pie, Lifetime. But Hallmark has got this covered.

Merry Ex-Mas (TVOne 6pm) Dean Cain and Kristy Swanson? Yup, that is a high-quality cheese plate to serve with a made-for-TV holiday rom-com. Kudos for stepping up, TVOne. But you’re still way behind the curve.

A Nutcracker Christmas (Hallmark 6pm) Amy Acker (“Angel,” “Person of Interest”) as a ballet dancer traumatized by Christmas because her sister died on the night she was supposed to dance in The Nutcracker? Years later, her niece—whom she’s now raising—lands the lead in the same ballet? Turns out the ballet is being directed by our Christmas-hating ballet dancer’s ex-boyfriend? This is why you’re the kings, Hallmark.

Sunday 11

“Lip Sync Battle Shorties” (Nickelodeon 6pm) Why should adults have all the embarrassing fun? Kids can lip sync too, ya know!

“The Simpsons” (KASA-2 7pm) The Simpsons get into the holiday spirit, helping Krusty spend Christmas with his estranged daughter.

“The Making of Frozen: A Return to Arendelle” (KOAT-7 9:04pm) Disney gives viewers a sneak peek at the sequel to Frozen, coming out … sometime in the future.

Monday 12

“The Greatest Holiday Commercials Countdown 2016” (KWBQ-19 8pm) Between commercials, The CW counts down the top 12 commercials!

Tuesday 13

“Rock the Troops” (Spike TV 7pm) Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson pays tribute to America’s armed forces by letting Nick Jonas sing at them. Also, Lynyrd Skynyrd. And Flo Rida. … Looks like somebody hit “random.”

Wednesday 14

“The Top 12 Greatest Christmas Movies of All Time” (KWBQ-19 7pm) And tune in next week when The CW counts down the 12 greatest Christmas countdown specials.

“A Pentatonix Christmas” (KOB-4 7pm) It’s Christmas. I suppose I can allow a single a capella TV special. But only if we don’t have to hear them on “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve.”

“Star” (KASA-2 8pm) From the creators of FOX’s hit musical drama “Empire” comes … another musical drama. But this one has Queen Latifah and Lenny Kravitz.
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