Week In Sloth

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Thursday 23

See “Idiot Box” above.

Friday 24

Hey Arnold! The Jungle Movie (Nickelodeon 5pm) Popular ’90s kids cartoon fave “Hey Arnold” returns after 13 years to wrap up some of the old plot threads—like, what the hell ever happened to Arnold’s parents?

Finding Santa (Hallmark 6pm) Young woman takes over running her New England hometown’s annual Christmas parade. Old dude playing St. Nick drops out. She finds a hunky but unwilling last-minute replacement. Boom! Holiday rom-com, Hallmark-style.

“DreamWorks’ Trolls Holiday” (KOB-4 7:30pm) The animated stars of last year’s fuzzy haired toy-based feature keep the brand name running with a spin-off holiday special.

“Grammys Greatest Stories: A 60th Anniversary Special” (KRQE-13 8:01pm) John Legend and Carrie Underwood host this behind-the-scenes look at the last 59 years of the music award show.

Saturday 25

Wrapped Up in Christmas (Lifetime 6pm) An 8-year-old asks a mall Santa for a boyfriend for her beloved aunt. Aaaaand romance! I mean, it’s no Hallmark rom-com, but solid effort, Lifetime.

The Beatles: Eight Days a Week—The Touring Years (KNME-5 7pm) Ron Howard’s recent fanboy documentary looks in on the early days of The Beatles, from their first club dates in Liverpool to their concert tours in Europe.

Sunday 26

Christmas Solo (UP 5pm) Two young girls embroiled in a nasty rivalry at school are horrified to learn that their single parents might be falling in love. Boy, everybody wants in on this holiday rom-com action.

A Very Merry Toy Store (Lifetime 6pm) Rival toy shop owners (can you guess where this is going?) reluctantly join forces when an unscrupulous toy magnate opens a box store in their town. Everybody!

Snowmance (ION 7pm) In the wake of her pre-Christmas breakup, a hopeless romantic finds true love in the unlikely form of a snowman come to life. … OK. ION, you may have taken this holiday rom-com thing too far.

Monday 27

Angry Angel (Freeform 7pm) A young angel is stuck on Earth trying to get into Heaven, but two important men in her life unexpectedly show up to fight for her affections. Eh, nice first try at a holiday rom-com, Freeform. Not as creepy as ION’s snowman sex thing—but points off for picking Jason Biggs as one of the potential love interests.

“A Very Pentatonix Christmas” (KOB-4 9:01pm) Clearly an improvement over last year’s “A Mildly Pentatonix Christmas.”

“Fashion Police: The Farewell” (E! 9pm) Two years after its original host (Joan Rivers) passed away, E!’s catty fashion review show gets folded up and stuffed in a closet.

Tuesday 28

“Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” (KRQE-13 9pm) If you asked Santa for scantily clad supermodels for Christmas, your wish has come true.

“Drunk History Christmas Special” (Comedy Central 11pm) George Washington crosses the Delaware; Charles Dickens writes A Christmas Carol, and Teddy Roosevelt bans Christmas trees in the White House—all told by stinking drunk comedians and celebrities.

Wednesday 29

“Christmas in Rockefeller Center” (KOB-4 7pm) Pentatonix performs. Guess that makes this an extremely Pentatonix Christmas.

“Bruno Mars: 24k Magic Live at the Apollo” (KRQE-13 9pm) Talk about your uptown funk!
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