Week In Sloth

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Thursday 7

Psych: The Movie (USA 6pm) After three years off the air, the fake-psychic, crime-solving team of “Psych” returns for one more mystery.

“A Very Discovery Christmas” (Discovery 7pm) Your “favorite Discovery families” (assuming your favorite Discovery shows are “Alaskan Bush People, “Alaska: The Last Frontier” and “Yukon Men”) share their Christmas traditions of trimming the tree, making gifts, hunting holiday meals and making moonshine.

Friday 8

“Amazingness” (MTV 11:31pm) Viral stars compete in this “America’s Got Talent”-esque (only dumber) variety show. Among the contestants on tonight’s premiere: a lasso legend, a vape pro, a limbo master and a hand-farter. Now that’s what I call talent!

Saturday 9

Runaway Christmas Bride (ION 7pm) Evidently, all you have to do is add the word “Christmas” to an already existing romantic comedy, and—presto!—instant holiday rom-com. Pretty Christmas Woman? You’ve Got Christmas Mail? Bridget Jones’ Christmas Diary? My Best Friend’s Christmas Wedding? Sleepless in Seattle at Christmas? So easy!

Sunday 10

“White House Christmas 2017” (HGTV 4pm) This will be the biggest, most expensive, most well-attended Christmas at the White House in history. And if not, it’s all Hillary Clinton’s fault.

“Encore!” (KOAT-7 9pm) In this “reality musical” the cast of a high school production of Into the Woods reunites 20 years later to perform the same show under the tutelage of Broadway directors, choreographers and voice coaches.

“Robot Chicken—Freshly Baked: The Robot Chicken Santa Claus Pot Cookie Freakout Special” (Adult Swim 12:30am) Seth Green and pals use stop-motion-animated toys to spoof the holidays. It’s an annual tradition.

Monday 11

A Gray State (A&E 8:01pm) This documentary looks into the life and death of aspiring screenwriter David Crowley, who in 2010 started working on a fictional sci-fi film about a future in which the government crushes civil liberties. When Crowley and his family were found dead in 2014, conspiracy theorists went wild, speculating that Crowley had been assassinated by the US government because he was getting too close to “the truth.” It’s the same reason the government killed the entire cast and crew of The Hunger Games.

Tuesday 12

“The Greatest Holiday Commercials Countdown 2017” (KWBQ-19 7pm) I hope they have that one with Santa Claus. You know the one. With Santa.

“Gwen Stefani’s You Make It Feel Like Christmas” (KOB-4 8pm) The formerly edgy No Doubt singer continues her shockingly rapid conversion into cultural dinosaur by recording an album of Christmas standards. Next stop: a nightly show in Vegas!

Wednesday 13

“Golden Globe 75th Anniversary Special” (KOB-4 8pm) Eric McCormack and Debra Messing from “Will & Grace” look back at favorite moments from the last 75 years of the “Golden Globes.”

“The Fake News With Ted Nelms” (Comedy Central 11pm) For this one-off comedy special, Ed Helms (billing himself as “Ted Nelms”) reads absurd, made-up news stories in a deadpan, straight-faced style.
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