Week In Sloth

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Thursday 14

“WWE Tribute to the Troops” (USA 6pm) Wrestling superstars pay tribute to our fighting forces by … beating each other up. Huh. Sounds wrong somehow.

“The iHeartRadio Jingle Ball 2017” (KWBQ-19 7pm) Taylor Swift? Check. Ed Sheeran? Check. The Chainsmokers? Check. Demi Lovato? Check.

“Showtime at the Apollo: Christmas” (KRQED2 7pm) Snoop Dogg, Boyz II Men, Fifth Harmony and DMX offer up some holiday cheer, Harlem-style. So no Taylor Swift.

“Taraji’s White Hot Holidays” (KRQED2 8:02pm) Taraji P. Henson hosts a musical variety special featuring Fergie, DJ Khaled, Leslie Odom Jr., Chaka Khan, Faith Evans, Taye Diggs, Salt-N-Pepa and Ying Yang Twins. Because … Christmas.

Friday 15

“Jean-Claude Van Johnson” (Amazon streaming anytime) Jean-Claude Van Damme stars in this meta comedy-action series. He plays himself, a retired action movie star who gets recruited to work as an undercover agent named “Jean-Claude Van Johnson.”

“Erased” (Netflix streaming anytime) This live-action adaptation of Kei Sanbe’s mystery manga/anime concerns a young man who travels back in time 18 years, giving him the opportunity to prevent his mother’s murder.

“The 86th Annual Hollywood Christmas Parade” (KWBQ-19 7pm) Erik Estrada, Dean Cain and Montel Williams are among the hosts. Dr. Oz is the grand marshal. Back in 1946 Gene Autry rode his horse in this parade and was inspired by the children’s shouts to write the perennial hit “Here Comes Santa Claus.” Dean Cain hosted “10 Million Dollar Bigfoot Bounty.” So, yeah.

Saturday 16

“World Darts Championship 2017” (BBC America 7am) Three hours worth of red hot dart-throwing action? At 7am on a Saturday? Hell, yeah!

Sunday 17

A Christmas Story Live! (KRQED2 6pm) Sure, you’ve seen the movie a million times. But this is actually another of those live musical TV remakes. This one stars Matthew Broderick, Maya Rudolph, Jane Krakowski and Chris Diamantopoulos.

Monday 18

“Decorating Disney: Holiday Magic” (Freeform 6pm) Watch as 12 Disney parks, a fleet of cruise ships and a whole bunch of vacation resorts are done up for the holidays.

“Gunpowder” (HBO 8pm) “Remember, remember the Fifth of November.” You can’t really because Guy Fawkes’ Gunpowder Plot took place in 1605 England, and you’re a product of the American education system. But I bet you’ll pay attention to an HBO miniseries starring Kit Harrington (“Game of Thrones”).

“The Year in Memoriam 2017” (KOAT-7 9pm) Either ABC is looking back at all the people who passed away in 2017 or the network is taking this year in the alley out back and putting a bullet in its brain. Not gonna lie: I kinda hope it’s the latter.

Tuesday 19

“A Home for the Holidays with Josh Groban” (KRQE-13 7pm) It’s Josh Groban’s turn to guilt you into adopting kids for Christmas.

Wednesday 20

“La Casa de Papel” (Netflix streaming anytime) This 15-episode Spanish heist drama centers on an Ocean’s Eleven-style gang of thieves trying to steal 2.4 billion euros from the Royal Mint of Spain—by taking the place hostage for 11 days and printing the dough! Points for style, mis amigos.
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