Thursday 26“Nashville” (CMT 7pm) The country music soap opera airs its second series finale. It ran for four seasons on ABC before being canceled. CMT picked it up for a two-season encore but is closing the curtain once again. So … Netflix maybe?Friday 27“Orange Is The New Black” (Netflix streaming anytime) After the tense fifth season—which unfolded over the course of a three-day riot—creator Jenji Kohan’s prison dramedy returns for season 6. Say goodbye to Litchfield, as our favorite prisoners are moving to new digs this season.“Cash Cab: Shark Week Edition” (Discovery 5pm) So many questions! Are they asking trivia questions about sharks, or will there be actual sharks in the cab? … Nope, I guess those are all the questions.“Celebrity Animal Encounters” (Animal Planet 8:01pm) So many questions! Is it celebrities meeting animals, or are ordinary people meeting celebrity animals? … Nope, I guess those are all the questions.Saturday 28“DuckTales” (Disney 10:30am) Hardcore Disney Afternoon aficionados take note: This episode features an appearance by the villainous sky pirate Don Karnage, who last menaced Baloo and the gang on Disney’s syndicated 1990-to-’91 series “TaleSpin.” “Pink Collar Crimes” (KRQE-13 7pm) This documentary series is advertised as an “outrageous true crime series inspired by a growing crime wave in the country: felonious females.” Congratulations, ladies: Your economic desperation and bad behavior are trending!Sunday 29“Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis” (Comedy Central/VH1 8pm) Celebs show up to razz famed blues singer and legendary wine cooler lover Bruce Willis. “Naked & Afraid: Naked and Afraid of Sharks” (Discovery 7pm) C’mon, Discovery! Once you teach them how we taste without the wrappers, we’re all doomed.Monday 30 “Blood Money” (History 8:03pm) Many folks, rightfully or wrongly, feel that members of today’s Millennial Generation just don’t have the drive, the skills or the work ethic to make it on their own. So family estate planner Chris Parvin is traveling across the US putting the kids of family business owners to the test. With a major inheritance on the line, can young folks cut it as business people? Tuesday 31“Making It” (KOB-4 9pm) Amy Poehler and Nick Offerman (as close to a “Parks and Recreation” reunion as we’re likely to get) host this competition show, which pits America’s best crafters against one another in a weekly handmade showdown.Wednesday 1“The Originals” (KWBQ-19 8pm) The CW’s “Vampire Diaries” spinoff calls it a night after five seasons. But not to worry fans, there’s another spin off in the works. “Legacies” will be a teen-oriented series about supernatural high schoolers (vampires, werewolves and witches) attending the Salvatore School for the Young and Gifted. Because young adults love stories about school.“The Sinner” (USA 8:01pm) In the first season of USA’s mystery/crime series, Jessica Biel played a wife and mother who murdered her husband in a brutal (and very public) act of violence. But why? Now, detective Ambrose (Bill Pullman) returns to his hometown to investigate the case of an 11-year-old boy who slaughtered his parents. But why?
Week In Sloth
Alibi
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3 min read
