“Celebrity Poker Showdown” (Bravo 6 p.m.) This once-cool show has officially jumped the shark by inviting “reality TV” stars like Jonny Fairplay, Trishelle Cannatella and Omarosa to compete against each other this season.
“Hidden Howie: The Private Life of a Public Nuisance” (Bravo 9 p.m.) So you're telling me that both Paulie Shore and Howie Mandel have their own TV shows now? Isn't there a list somewhere to prevent this sort of thing? … I'm warning you, the second Carrot Top gets his own weekly show, I'm outta here.
“Greg the Bunny” (IFC 8:30 p.m.) Greg got his first big break as a series of short, interstitial films on IFC. His cult sitcom couldn't cut it on FOX, so it's only fitting that he return to the network that spawned him for more short film parodies.
“Gene Simmons' Rock School” (VH1 9 p.m.) The Kiss kingpin stars in a reality show rip-off of Rock School, trying to transform a classroom full of proper British prep-schoolers into a fire-breathing metal band.
“America's Ugliest Living Room” (TLC 7 p.m.) Yeah, but can it really compete with America's Ugliest Bathroom?
“Connections” Marathon (KNME-5 1:30 p.m.) James Burke's 1980 series “Connections”–examining how seemingly random events led to remarkable technological breakthroughs–remains one of the most fondly remembered PBS series. This 25th anniversary marathon includes new interviews and anecdotes from Burke and fellow science writer Michael Malone.
“Amazon Abyss” (Discovery 7 p.m.) The Amazon is one big-ass river, and it's filled with some seriously creepy creatures. This new series follows world-class underwater cameraman Mike deGruy and his team of explorers as they catch real-life aliens of the abyss on film for the first time, including primitive river dolphins, giant pink electric knifefish, a deepwater wolftooth and a six-foot long man-eating catfish. Apocalypse Now was right: Never get out of the boat!
“The Ultimate Fighter” (Spike TV 9:05 p.m.) Silly me, I thought the title “The Ultimate Fighter” was an absolute. But here we are at season two, looking for another ultimate fighter. Will this one be more ultimate than the last? Will that make last season's winner the penultimate fighter? Am I applying too much logic for a show on Spike TV?
Sherlock Holmes Marathon (TCM 6 p.m.) It's a whole bloody night of dastardly deeds and roguish behavior as Holmes (Basil Rathbone) and Watson (Nigel Moore) star in a run of Sherlock Holmes and … films including The Secret Weapon, The Woman in Green, The Terror By Night and Dressed to Kill.
“Eric Clapton: Session for Robert J.” (KNME-5 7 p.m.) White boy bluesman Eric Clapton pays tribute to legendary musician Robert Johnson with this all-blues concert.