Week In Sloth

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Thursday 20

Aggretsuko: We Wish You a Metal Christmas” (Netflix streaming anytime) Sanrio’s gloriously funny, passive-agressive Hello Kitty spinoff for adults gets a holiday special before its second season drops in 2019. Seems that our secretly death metal-obsessed office drone (and cute red panda) Retsuko is heading into the Christmas holiday with a newfound social media addiction.

“Jersey Shore Family Vacation: Unseen Moments You Can’t Unsee” (MTV 5pm) Just to be safe, I’m not gonna see this.

Friday 21

“3Below: Tales of Arcadia” (Netflix streaming anytime) Dreamworks Animation presents the second in Guillermo del Toro’s “Tales of Arcadia” trilogy (the first being “Trollhunters”). This toon follows two royal aliens from outer space who crashland on Earth with their beefy bodyguard.

“Vanity Fair” (Amazon streaming anytime) England’s ITV and Amazon team up for this seven-part adaptation of Christopher Makepeace Thackeray’s novel about a plucky heroine trying to make her way in English society against the backdrop of the Napoleonic Wars. Olivia Cooke (Ready Player One) stars.

Santa Claus (TCM 2:15am) Former carnival huckster K. Gordon Murray imported this Mexican curiosity from director René Cardona and dubbed it into English, circa 1959, much to the confusion of some very puzzled American audiences. In it, Santa Claus (José Eliías Moreno) battles a pitchfork-weilding devil (José Luis Aguirre) for the souls of children. It’s … weird.

Saturday 22

3 Holiday Tails (KWBQ-19 7pm) What’s worse than a sappy, holiday-themed rom-com? A sappy, holiday-themed rom-com with animals. Here, a pair of old flames reunite—but he’s engaged. Can a recently retired couple and their three adorable golden retriever puppies save the day? This one’s actually a sequel to 2009’s A Golden Christmas. And yes, they made a third one.

Sunday 23

“The Year: 2018” (KOAT-7 8pm) You are correct, ABC: 2018 was, indeed, a year.

Monday 24

It’s a Wonderful Life (KOB-4 7pm) It’s Christmas Eve. Why not?

Tuesday 25

“Watership Down” (Netflix streaming anytime) BBC and Netflix join forces to produce this computer-animated, mini-series adaptation of Richard Adams’ famed fable. James McAvoy, Nicholas Hoult, Peter Capaldi, Rosamund Pike, John Boyega, Olivia Colman, Taron Egerto, Ben Kingsley and Tom Wilkinson are among the impressive voice cast.

“Call the Midwife: Holiday Special 2018” (KNME-5 8pm) A new nun and a group of Chinese orphans show up at the Anglican nursing convent Nonnatus House, causing “much joy and chaos.” Sounds … juicy?

Wednesday 26

“The 41st annual Kennedy Center Honors” (KRQE-13 7pm) Actress/singer Cher, Pianist Philip Glass, country entertainer Reba McEntire and jazz saxaphonist Wayne Shorter are this year’s honorees.

Thursday 27

The Godfather/The Godfather Part II (AMC 3:30pm/7:30pm) I mean, you’re probably home anyway. Why not watch 377 minutes worth of mobsters?

Friday 28

“Popstar’s Best of 2018” (KWBQ-19 8pm) Teen-oriented Popstar! magazine presents the “greatest and most memorable” moments of 2018. Most of them probably center around Selena Gomez, Kendall Jenner and some kind of Jonas brother.

Saturday 29

“2019 Winterfest Preview Special” (Hallmark 8pm) You thought all of Hallmark’s holiday rom-coms were over now that Christmas is done? Oh, no. Oh, god, no.

Sunday 30

“The Lake Erie Murders: Who Killed Amy Mihaljevic? “ (ID 7pm) Investigation Discovery devotes three hours to the still-unsolved murder of Cleveland elementary student Amy Mihaljevic, who was kidnapped and killed back in 1989.

Monday 31

Dick Clark’s Primetime New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest 2019” (KOAT-7 7pm) Christina Aguilera, Shawn Mendes, Dua Lipa, Halsey, Post Malone and New Kids on the Block headline.

“FOX’s New Year’s Eve with Steve Harvey Live From Times Square” (KRQEDT-2 7pm) Sting, Robin Thicke, Florence + The Machine, Jason Aldean and Juanes headline.

“A Toast to 2018!” (KOB-4 7pm) I don’t know about you, but I sure need a drink after that.

Tuesday 1

“Doctor Who: New Year’s Day Special” (BBC America 7pm) No Christmas special this year, but we do get this special in which The Doctor (Jodie Whittaker) and pals battle “a terrifying evil that is stirring from across the centuries of Earth’s history.”

Wednesday 2

“The Masked Singer” (KRQEDT-2 7pm) A bunch of celebrities in elaborate masks sing pop songs and guest judges have to guess who the secret singer is. Expect to say “wait, who is that?” a lot when the masks come off to reveal the “celebrities.”
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