Week In Sloth

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Thursday 31

“Fortune Fights” (Reelz 7pm) Reelz’ new docu-series about financially embattled celebs starts with Johnny Depp. Where did all that sweet, sweet pirate booty go?

Friday 1

“The ABC Murders” (Amazon streaming anytime) Agatha Christie’s dapper detective Hercule Poirot (embodied now by John Malkovich) returns to solve another baffling murder in this three-part limited series.

“Russian Doll” (Netflix streaming anytime) Natasha Lyonne stars in and Amy Poehler produces this Groundhog Day-esqe comedy in which a woman gets caught in a time loop, endlessly repeating her 36th birthday party and dying at the end of the night—only to repeat it all the next morning.

“Care Bears: Unlock the Magic” (Boomerang 10am) Hey, if you can reboot “My Little Pony” and “She-Ra: Princess of Power,” “Care Bears” is just the next logical stop on the nostalgia train.

“Tropical Cop Tales” (Cartoon Network 1am) Writer-director Jim Hosking (The Greasy Strangler) helms this garishly skeevy live-action comedy about two urban cops (Charles Noland and Wayne Dehart) who relocate to an island paradise in the twilight of their careers, only to find themselves investigating a serial killer.

Saturday 2

“Puppy Bowl Presents: The Dog Bowl” (Animal Planet 6pm) AnPlan’s annual Puppy Bowl expands to include older, adoptable dogs. Think of this as the Pro Bowl before the Super Bowl.

“Hallmark Channel’s First Annual Cat Bowl” (Hallmark 8pm) Hallmark follows Animal Planet’s “Dog Bowl” lead, giving us this logical addition to the annual Kitten Bowl.

Sunday 3

“Kitten Bowl VI” (Hallmark Noon) Dean Cain co-hosts. Is there anything Dean Cain won’t co-host? Just for fun, here’s a list of things Cain has hosted/co-hosted/guest hosted in the last 12 months: “Access Hollywood Live,” “Outnumbered,” “The 15 Most Iconic Summer Blockbusters of All Time,” “The National Christmas Tree Lighting,” “The 87th Annual Hollywood Christmas Parade,” “Hallmark Channel’s Winterfest,” “The Top 14 Greatest Valentine’s Day Movies of All Time,” “Home & Family,” “Masters of Illusion,” “The 2018 Hero Dog Awards,” “The Today Show,” “Fox and Friends.”

“Puppy Bowl XV” (Animal Planet 1pm) Between the pregame show, the “Training Camp” videos, the “Too Cute For Puppy Bowl” special, the “Where Are They Now?” special, you’ve got a full day of puppies leading up to this.

“Super Bowl LIII” (KRQE-13 4:30pm) New England Patriots vs. Los Angeles Rams. In case you’re not into puppies or kitties.

Monday 4

“Elvis Goes There” (Epix 8pm) Former LA Weekly, Detroit Free Press, New York Times film critic badass (and dude who gets fired a lot) Elvis Mitchell headlines this docu-series in which he travels with filmmakers and actors to “places of inspiration around the world.” First up: Paul Feig (“Freaks and Geeks,” Bridesmaids).

Tuesday 5

“My Great Big Live Wedding with David Tutera” (Lifetime 8:03pm) I mean, why wouldn’t you get married live on Lifetime Network?

Wednesday 6

“The World’s Best” (KRQE-13 7pm) After its debut after the Super Bowl, CBS airs this “groundbreaking” reality show competition. It features contestants from around the world performing various talent show acts and getting voted off by a panel of celebrity judges (Drew Barrymore, Faith Hill, RuPaul). Groundbreaking!
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