Week In Sloth

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Thursday 10

“Ultramarine Magmell” (Netflix streaming anytime) This Japanese animated series is an adaptation of a popular Chinese comic book. Decades after the sudden appearance of new continent in the Atlantic, a young rescuer-for-hire provides aid to adventurers in the magic-and-monster-filled land.

Sinister Seduction (LMN 6pm) I mean, it’s Lifetime Movie Network. All the seductions are sinister.

Friday 11

El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie (Netflix streaming anytime) Picking up right where the much-loved “Breaking Bad” series left off, we find poor traumatized Jesse Pinkman (Aaron Paul) on the run from both bad guys and law enforcement. But will our man Walter White (Bryan Cranston) be there—at least as a flashback?

Little Monsters (Hulu streaming anytime) A washed-up musician, a teacher and a drunk kids’ show host join forces to protect a group of school kids on a field trip when zombies attack a petting zoo in Australia. Oscar winner Lupita Nyong’o and Tony nominee Josh Gad star.

“The Birch” (Facebook Watch streaming anytime) Based on Crypt TV’s Webby Award-winning series of the same name, this Blair Witchy horror series finds three teens battling a vengeful woodland monster.

“My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic—A Decade of Pony” (Discovery Family Channel 3pm) DFC looks back on 10 years of pony magic, because—and I hate to be the one to break it to you—the series ends tomorrow.

“Gabby Duran & The Unsittables” (Disney 7pm) Disney’s latest live-action sitcom finds a 13-year-old gal (Kylie Cantrall) landing her first job—babysitting an unruly group of extraterrestrial children who have been hiding on Earth disguised as humans.

“Hometown Horror” (Travel 9pm) Travel Channel investigates legendary monsters in small town America—starting with Angola, NY’s “Pigman.”

Saturday 12

Meeting Gorbachev (History 4pm) Oddball German filmmaker Werner Herzog interviews Mikhail Gorbachev, the last leader of the Soviet Union, in an engaging series of fireside chats.

The College Admissions Scandal (Lifetime 6pm) Lifetime wasted no time cranking out a TV movie about the recent college admissions scandal rocking Hollywood (aka Operation Varsity Blues). Penelope Ann Miller and Mia Kirshner star—sadly, as a couple fictionalized “composite” characters and not as real-life defendants Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin.

“My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic” (DFC 6pm) It’s the series finale. Sorry, Bronies; you’re gonna have to find another children’s cartoon to get weirdly obsessed over.

The Banana Splits (Syfy 7pm) Clearly unable to obtain the rights to creepy video game sensation Five Nights at Freddy’s, Syfy resurrects the characters from the trippy, late-’60s, live-action Hanna-Barbera show “The Banana Splits Adventure Hour.” Here, fictional animal/puppet rockers Fleegle, Bingo, Drooper and Snorky are fur-covered robots who go haywire after their show is canceled and head out on a killing spree. Yes, this is real.

Sunday 13

Killer Contractor (Lifetime 6pm) Thankfully, Lifetime has found another vocation with which to terrorize suburban housewives. How has the network not made Killer Pilates Instructor yet?

Monday 14

“Hip Hop: The Songs That Shook America” (AMC 10pm) AMC’s history of hip-hop series starts—strangely enough—with Kanye West’s 2004 Christian rap single “Jesus Walks.”

Tuesday 15

“Treadstone” (USA 8pm) This spin-off of Robert Ludlum’s Jason Bourne series explores the origin story of the CIA black ops program that uses behavior modification protocols to turn recruits into nearly superhuman assassins.

Wednesday 16

Ghosts of Sugar Land (Netflix streaming anytime) A group of Muslims in Texas reacts to the fact that one of their friends has run off to join ISIS in this award-winning short documentary.

“Limetown” (Facebook Watch streaming anytime) The short-lived fictional podcast of the same name by Zack Akers and Skip Bronkie gets the dramatic treatment. A journalist (Jessica Biel) for American Public Radio tries to unravel the mystery behind the disappearance of over 300 people at a neuroscience research facility in Tennessee.
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