Week In Sloth

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Thursday 9

“Reclaimed” (Discovery 7:01pm) In Discovery’s latest docu-reality series, modern-day homesteaders purchase old abandoned mine claims at pennies on the dollar, hoping to strike it rich using modern day gold extraction techniques and equipment.

“Truth & Lies: The Jeffrey Epstein Story” (KOAT-7 8:02pm) ABC News investigates the history of dead financier Jeffrey Epstein. By the way: Jeffrey Epstein, who killed himself in jail, would like to thank you for spreading all those Facebook memes about how he didn’t kill himself in jail but was murdered by some deep state conspiracy. Because now everyone’s talking about Jeffrey Epstein as the victim in cool murder mystery instead of talking about Jeffrey Epstein as the serial abuser, pedophile and rapist that he was.

Friday 10

“AJ and the Queen” (Netflix streaming anytime) Writer/director/producer Michael Patrick King (“Sex and the City,” “Cybill,” “Murphy Brown,” “Will & Grace,” “Two Broke Girls”) is the creator of this comedy about a down-on-her-luck drag queen (RuPaul, who serves as co-creator/co-producer) who finds herself traveling across America in a van with a tough-talking 10-year-old stowaway.

“Lincoln Rhyme: Hunt for the Bone Collector” (KOB-4 7pm) For some reason the 1999 adaptation (starring Denzel Washington and Angelina Jolie) of Jeffery Deaver’s hit crime novel failed to launch a film series. So NBC tries again by rebooting the serial killer thriller as a TV series.

Saturday 11

Psycho Nurse (Lifetime 6pm) A brief list of other people that are also psycho, at least according to Lifetime Original Movies: Psycho BFF, Psycho In-Law, Psycho Mother-in-Law, Psycho Brother In-Law, Psycho Granny, Psycho Stripper.

Sunday 12

Psycho Party Planner (Lifetime 6pm) … Oh, and Party Planner, evidently.

“The 25th Annual Critics’ Choice Awards” (KWBQ-19 6pm) America’s film critics say what the best films/performances of 2019 were. Taye Diggs hosts.

“The Outsider” (HBO 7pm) Ben Mendelsohn (“Bloodline”), Jason Bateman (“Arrested Development”) and Mare Winningham (St. Elmo’s Fire) star in this miniseries based on Stephen King’s novel of the same name about a seemingly simple murder investigation that devolves into supernatural shenanigans.

“Sanditon” (KNME-5 8pm) Jane Austen’s final, unfinished novel get the PBS “Masterpiece” treatment, courtesy of Andrew Davies (who previously tackled Vanity Fair, Pride and Prejudice, Middlemarch and War & Peace).

Monday 13

“The Healing Powers of Dude” (Netflix streaming anytime) What sounds like a skeevy talk show for the Men’s Rights Movement is actually a feel-good family comedy about an 11-year-old boy with social anxiety disorder who faces middle school with the help of a service dog named Dude.

“The New Pope” (HBO 7pm) “The Young Pope” (starring Jude Law as His Titular Holiness) gets a belated second season with a new title and a new pope (John Malkovich as the now titular—and equally fictional—Pope John Paul III). John Malkovich is the Pope? I think I want to live in that universe.

Tuesday 14

“Kings of Pain: Behind the Bites” (History 8:03pm) In “Kings of Pain” wildlife biologist Adam Thorn and professional animal handler Rob “Caveman” Alleva travel the world allowing themselves to be bitten by the world’s most dangerous animals and stung by nature’s most vicious insects. Any questions I have can only be answered by a licensed psychotherapist and not by this behind-the-scenes special.

Wednesday 15

“68 Whiskey” (Paramount 8pm) Ron Howard is the executive producer behind this “M*A*S*H”-esque comedy-drama about Army medics stationed at a military base in Afghanistan.
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