Week In Sloth

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 6

“The Girl With the X-Ray Eyes” (TLC 7 p.m.) Sadly, not a sequel to the 1963 Roger Corman film X: The Man With the X-Ray Eyes; this is instead a documentary about a teenager who claims to see inside the human body. Quick, somebody call Professor X and warm up the Danger Room.

Friday 7

Alchemy (ABC Family 6 p.m.) Tom Cavanaugh (“Ed”), Sarah Chalke (“Scrubs”) and Michael Ian Black (“Stella”) star in this high-tech update of Cyrano. Cavanaugh plays a scientist who invents an intelligent computer (voiced by Black) capable of generating its own emotions. For whatever dubious scientific reasons, he decides to see if a woman could fall in love with a computer. Acting as the human face of his machine, our doc uses artificial intelligence to woo a commitment-phobic gal (Chalke).

“Hot Properties” (KOAT-7 7:30 p.m.) Four sexy women work in a Manhattan real estate office. This ensemble comedy–filled to the brim with man-hungry gal talk–features plenty of “broad” humor. Still, the cast (including “NYPD Blue”'s Gail O'Grady, “Mad TV”'s Nicole Sullivan and Latina super-hottie Sophia Vergara) does have a certain appeal.

Saturday 8

Dungeons & Dragons 2: Wrath of the Dragon God (Sci-Fi Channel 7 p.m.) Fantasy geeks who have been waiting for a sequel to 2000's Dungeons & Dragons are invited to drop their 20-sided dice for a night and check out this nontheatrical follow-up. On the plus side, it's supposed to be more faithful to the source material. On the negative side, they couldn't afford Marlon Wayans. … Oh, wait, that's another plus.

“Paula Goes to Hollywood” (Food Network 7 p.m.) Food Network spends an hour saluting a cameo by Paula Deen (star of “Paula's Home Cooking”) in the upcoming film Elizabethtown.

Sunday 9

The Hunt for the B.T.K. Killer (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) Robert Forster (Jackie Brown) stars as the detective who hunted down serial killer Dennis Rader in this ripped-from-the-headlines made-for-TV movie.

“The True Story of the Philadelphia Experiment” (History 9:15 p.m.) No, not a behind-the-scenes look at the making of the 1984 sci-fi film starring Michael Paré and Nancy Allen, but an examination of the actual 1943 incident that–according to this documentary–had more to do with escaping submarine detection than it did with warping the fabric of the universe and traveling through time.

Monday 10

“Weeds” (Showtime 10 p.m.) It's the season finale of Showtime's smokin'-dope-in-the-suburbs series.

Tuesday 11

The Last Sign (Lifetime 7 p.m.) Andie McDowell plays a young mother whose husband (Tim Roth) dies in an auto accident. No biggie, since hubby was an alcoholic and abusive anyway. But, when she tries to get on with her life, she finds herself haunted by his ghost. Unfortunately, this tale of supernatural redemption is way more touchy-feely than creepy-crawly.

Wednesday 12

Mad Max/Mad Max 2 (AMC 6p.m./8 p.m.) Well, it's an Australian Movie Classic, but it sure works for me.

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