Week In Sloth

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 9

“Fashion Police: 2006 Grammy Awards” (E! 7 p.m.) So who was the hoochiest mama at last night's Grammy Awards? Find out right here.

Friday 10

“Arrested Development” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) For whatever nefarious reasons, FOX has not officially decided to cancel “Arrested Development.” Executives have said they would “wait and see” what happens to the show's ratings this season. Well, given that FOX is burning off all four remaining episodes tonight–directly across from the opening night ceremonies of the Olympics–I'd venture to say it ain't gonna do all that well in the ratings. But … if you're not a big fan of flags, this might just be the antidote for you.

“2006 Winter Olympic Games Opening Ceremony” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) If, on the other hand, you just can't get enough of people walking in formation and holding flags, then you'd better get your TV set to channel 4.

Saturday 11

House of the Dead 2: Dead Aim (Sci-Fi 7 p.m.) How could you possibly improve on Uwe Boll's 2003 videogame-turned-movie zombie-fighting opus? … Well, step one would involve firing Uwe. With this direct-to-TV sequel, the guy who wrote Mansquito takes over as director. Emmanuelle Vaugier (who starred in such Sci-Fi Channel, um, “classics” as Painkiller Jane and Cerberus) leads the small-star cast (rapper-turned-actor Sticky Fingaz is in there, too). Trust me, it can't be any worse than the original.

Sunday 12

“It's Not Easy Being a Wolf Boy” (TLC 7 p.m.) I imagine it's not, especially if you want to get out of the circus and start working in the ordinary 9-to-5 world.

“Man with the Exploding Arms” (TLC 8 p.m.) Then again, maybe old Wolf Boy doesn't have all that much to complain about. He could have been born with exploding arms, for crying out loud!

Monday 13

“Untold Stories of the E.R.” (TLC 7 p.m.) On tonight's show, a woman complains about stomach pains after eating toilet paper. … You know, maybe there's a reason that one went untold.

Tuesday 14

“The Price is Right Million Dollar Spectacular” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) There's something ironic about winning a million dollars for knowing the price of a can of pork and beans.

“A Charlie Brown Valentine” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) While this most recent “Peanuts” TV special (2002) can't quite compete with the classics of yesteryear, it's still Charlie Brown–and what's a holiday without Charlie Brown?

“The St. Valentine's Day Massacre” (History Channel 7 p.m.) If you're not the romantic type, you might want to spend V.D. viewing this heartwarming documentary about the infamous 1929 gangland massacre in Chicago.

Wednesday 15

“Spike's Most Irresistible Women” (Spike 7 p.m.) Spike TV goes all “Maxim” on us (yeah, not much of a stretch) with lots of pictures of hot women.

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