Week In Sloth

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 2

“Long Way Round” (Bravo 8 p.m.) After many around the world travails, actor Ewan McGregor and his pal finally make their weary way to New York City. I'll bet they never want to see another motorcycle again.

Friday 3

“Ice Wars 2004: USA vs. The World” (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) Make no mistake: Not only can the USA bomb the living hell out of any other country in the world that looks cross-eyed at us, but we can totally kick their ass in ice dancing.

“Ed, Edd and Eddy's Jingle, Jingle, Jangle” (Cartoon Network 9 p.m.) In this new animated special, Edd tries to get himself adopted by every family in the neighborhood to increase his Christmas loot.

Saturday 4

Anonymous Rex (Sci-Fi 7 p.m.) Eric Garcia's far-fetched but fun murder mystery series comes to life on Sci-Fi. Seems that dinosaurs didn't die out. They evolved and are living among us wearing latex masks. (I told you it was far-fetched.)

Sunday 5

“What Not to Wear” (TLC 7 p.m.) Tonight, TLC's addictive fashion advice show ambushes an unsuspecting slob and offers a $50,000 wardrobe makeover. … That'll buy a lot of “Foxy Lady” T-shirts.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Mitch (Tuesdays with Morrie) Albom's slim, syrupy, pseudo self-help story makes its way to network TV. The feel-good story has an amusement park janitor kicking the bucket and meeting five people whose life he has changed for the better.

The Life and Death of Peter Sellers (HBO 10 p.m.) Geoffrey Rush and Charlize Theron star in this controversial biopic about the famed comedian. Sellers' family hated it, so it must be good.

Monday 6

“Boy's Toys: Private Collections” (History 7 p.m.) “Boy's Toys” week kicks off with a two-hour special hunting down the nation's top collectors–from the world's biggest collector of Star Wars memorabilia to the largest private Elvis collection. Also profiled: celebrity collectors. Seven Seagal, for example, has a collection of ancient samurai swords while Penny Marshall has a collection of priceless sports collectibles. Who knew?

Tuesday 7

12 Days of Christmas Eve (USA 6 p.m.) Remember Groundhog Day, that comedy classic in which selfish TV personality Bill Murray finds himself stuck in a 24-hour loop until he lives out the perfect day? Well, substitute Christmas Eve for Groundhog Day, Steven Webber for Bill Murray and lame sentiment for inventive comedy, and you've got a brand new made-for-TV flick.

“A Charlie Brown Christmas” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) The perennial holiday classic returns with a new special, titled “Charlie Brown's Christmas Tales,” welded on to it. In it, each member of the Peanuts gang gets their own little vignette.

Wednesday 8

“2004 Billboard Music Awards” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) The specter of Ryan Seacrest rears its ugly head again, with the grinning all-purpose “host” introducing assorted radio-friendly acts.

“A Clay Aiken Christmas” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) … Not if I can help it.

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