Week In Sloth

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 20

“World Series of Darts” (ESPN2 8 p.m.) Who are you to resist? ESPN’s new series comes to us tonight from Uncasville, Conn. How’s that for sweetening the pot? Darts from Uncasville? I’m so there! Allow me to quote from Bull’s Eye News : “For dart players and fans alike, this is simply a not-to-be-missed television event. Never before has a professional dart tournament been constructed—literally from the ground up—expressively for the American television viewing audience. … If you think you know how darts is played—think again. The American view of steel-tip darts and darts on television is about to change forever!”

Friday 21

“Comic-Con ’06 Live” (G4 6 p.m.) G4 starts broadcasting live from that Mecca of all things geektacular, the San Diego Comic-Con. If you can’t be there wearing your homemade Spider-Man costume, you can at least be there in spirit.

Saturday 22

“Miami Vice” (NBC 7 p.m.) NBC jumps on the “Miami Vice” bandwagon (Michael Mann’s feature film version with Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx hits theaters on July 28) by airing the original 2-hour pilot movie from 1984. Trust me, people, there’s only one Crockett and Tubbs, and they ain’t wearin’ socks!

Sunday 23

“Fallen” (ABC Family 6 p.m.) ABC Fam gets a little supernatural with this drama about a teenage orphan who discovers that he’s actually one of the Nephilim, the offspring of a fallen angel and a human–which wouldn’t be so bad if not for the heavenly assassins out to clip his newfound wings.

“My Fair Brady: We’re Getting Married!” (VH1 7 p.m.) Well, it’s about time! Does this mean we’re finally done with Christopher Knight and his nutty fiancée Adrianne Curry? Or do we now have to endure a Nick & Jessica-style “Newlyweds” series. … Like I have to ask.

“Messengers” (TLC 8 p.m.) Contestants on a reality show vie to become America’s next great motivational speaker by getting tossed in the most difficult of circumstances. Tonight, for example, they have to live as homeless people on the streets of Los Angeles and provide chipper inspiration to their fellow winos–who, as it happens, aren’t contestants on a reality show and will be sleeping on the streets tomorrow night as well.

Monday 24

“Life on Mars” (BBC America 8 p.m.) In this cult British cop series, a detective gets into a car accident and wakes up (somehow) in 1973, where he’s forced to solve crimes wearing bell-bottom jeans. (No, really.)

Tuesday 25

“Ashlee Simpson” (E! 7 p.m.) Ryan Seacrest interviews the young singer about, y’know, stuff. … So, it’s a meeting of the minds, basically.

Wednesday 26

“30 Days” (FX 11 p.m.) Supersize Me documentarian Morgan Spurlock and his guinea pigs return to FX for another season of subjecting themselves to assorted ironic indignities for 30 days at a stretch. Tonight, a man with strong anti-immigration views lives with a family of illegal aliens for a month.
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