Week In Sloth: Ballet Dancers, Mountain Men And Singing Teens Get Reality Shows

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 31

“Breaking Pointe” (KWBQ-19 7 p.m.) I’m not sure if describing this new docu-reality show as “intense, behind-the-scenes moments at a professional ballet company” counts as hyperbole or wishful thinking.

“Final Offer” (Discovery 8 p.m.) America’s newest “buying people’s old crap and reselling it” show is revealed.

“Mountain Men” (History 8 p.m.) Lemme get this straight: These people have rejected the conventions of modern society to live in isolation off the grid on what they can scavenge from nature … but they’re cool with having their own reality show?

Friday 1

“The National History Bee” (History 7 p.m.) No offense to the smart kids competing in this televised national history bee, but nothing says summer TV season like “televised national history bee.”

“The Culinary Adventures of Baron Ambrosia” (Cooking 8 p.m.) That better not be his real name.

Saturday 2

“The Glee Project” (Oxygen 8 p.m.) Creator Ryan Murphy asks a bunch more kids to write his next season of “Glee” by showing up to auditions with easily exploitable personality traits and family histories.

Sunday 3

“The Diamond Queen” (BBC America 7 p.m.) It’s the Queen’s diamond jubilee, don’t you know? Journalist Andrew Marr takes a look back at the life and reign of HM Queen Elizabeth II.

“Adele Live in London” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Adele sings, which is awesome. Unfortunately, Matt Lauer talks, which is less exciting.

“Head Games” (Discovery 8 p.m.) Comedian Greg Proops hosts the network’s first-ever science-based trivia show.

“Longmire” (A&E 8 p.m.) New Mexico may have lost the cop show “In Plain Sight,” but it gains the cop show “Longmire.” Set in Montana, shot outside Santa Fe, the series follows a widowed small-town sheriff who loses himself in his work.

“21 st Annual MTV Movie Awards” (MTV 10 p.m.) Emma Stone, Andrew Garfield, Charlize Theron, Michael Fassbender, Mila Kunis and Mark Wahlberg are among this year’s telegenic presenters.

Monday 4

“E3 All Access Live” (Spike 10 a.m.) Spike ups the ante, starting its all-day coverage of the Electronic Entertainment Expo bright and early at 10 a.m.

“E3 2012 Live” (G4 1 p.m.) G4 takes its time getting there but will probably land the bigger scoops and have the hotter correspondents.

Tuesday 5

“Concert for the Queen: A Diamond Jubilee Celebration with Katie Couric” (KOAT-7 8 p.m.) Q.E.II rocks out with Elton John, Paul McCartney, Tom Jones, Annie Lennox, Kylie Minogue, Stevie Wonder and Jessie J.

“Kendra on Top” (WE 11 p.m.) Oh, thank God! I was worried that when E! canceled “Kendra” I’d be left in the dark regarding the day-to-day life of former Playboy playmate Kendra Wilkinson.

Wednesday 6

“The Week the Women Went” (Lifetime 8 p.m.) Lifetime picks up this Americanized version of an unscripted series (read: “reality show”) from the BBC. What would happen to, say, the tiny town of Yemassee, S.C., if all the women left for seven days? Given that it’s on Lifetime, I’m sure the men would all learn valuable lessons about the importance of wives, sisters, daughters and mothers—as opposed to the week of drunken partying and football watching, which sounds more realistic to me.
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