Week In Sloth: Challenge The Bible, Beat The Chefs And Find The Dress!

The Week In Sloth

Alibi
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Thursday 23

“American Bible Challenge” (GSN 6 p.m.) Game Show Network’s newest quiz show “celebrates the Bible and its place in American culture.” It’s hosted by redneck comedian Jeff Foxworthy (of course it is). Somewhere, Ned Flanders is weeping with joy.

“Beat the Chefs” (GSN 7 p.m.) Obviously discontent with the game show-loving audience it has now, GSN continues to branch out. Here, for example, is one of those cooking competition shows that fill up almost the entire lineup of Food Network and the Cooking Channel.

Friday 24

“I Found the Gown” (TLC 8 p.m.) The makers of “Say Yes to the Dress” come up with another of their brilliant ideas. It’s the same show as “Say Yes to the Dress,” but it has a slightly different rhyme in the title! Next up: “Hail to the Veil.” After that, “The Bouquet is …” Um. Oh, well, it was a good run while it lasted.

“Yukon Men” (Discovery 8 p.m.) Discovery Channel has never met an Alaskan it didn’t like. (Hell, the network gave Sarah Palin a show!) Here’s a docu-reality show about men. Who live in the Yukon. That’s about it for concept.

Saturday 25

Strawberry Summer (Hallmark Movie Channel 6 p.m.) The story is some romantic hokum about a small-town beauty queen and bad-boy country music star who “unexpectedly” fall in love at a rural strawberry festival. But TV icons Shelley Long (“Cheers”) and Cindy Williams (“Laverne & Shirley”) are there, mugging it up in in cowboy hats—so that’s gotta be worth something.

“Larry Wilmore’s Race, Religion and Sex” (Showtime 9 p.m.) Wry “The Daily Show” commentator Larry Wilmore gets his own standup special.

Sunday 26

“True Blood” (HBO 7 p.m.) Another season ends with Bill acting like a violent asshole and trying to kill Sookie. And she loves him why ?

Monday 27

“Adventure Time” (Cartoon Network 8:30 p.m.) Fan fave character / annoying jerkwad the Earl of Lemongrab makes his return, peeping on Princess Bubblegum while she sleeps. Jerkwad.

“The Baby Wait” (Logo 10 p.m.) Logo’s new docu-reality series focuses on the 30 days in which a biological mother in Connecticut is legally allowed to change her mind about adoption. Not all the couples seeking to adopt are gay … but most of them are. It is Logo, after all.

Tuesday 28

“TV Guide Magazine’s Top 25 Best Oprah Show Moments” (OWN 7 p.m.) Oprah gets all humble and lets TV Guide pick the best “Oprah” show moments to air on the Oprah Winfrey Network. In short: Oprah!

“The 2012 Republican National Convention” (KOB-4/KOAT-7 8 p.m.) It’s like Coachella—only with Chris Christie instead of Foo Fighters opening the show.

“Abby & Brittany” (TLC 8 p.m.) Extremely conjoined twins Abby and Brittany get their own reality show. … Of course they do.

Wed 29

“Futurama” (Comedy Central 11 p.m.) Futurama signs off for the season with a double feature of episodes. In the first, Bender is hunted after rescuing a robotic fox. In the second, the Planet Express crew takes part in a nature documentary.
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