Week In Sloth: “Dates,” “7 Days In Hell” And “Mutt & Stuff”

Week In Sloth: “Dates,” “7 Days In Hell” And “Mutt & Stuff”

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Thursday 9

“Dates” (KWBQ-19 8pm) The CW goes a bit more adult with this imported British comedy about people on first dates. The ensemble cast includes Ben Chaplin and Oona Chaplin (no relation—which is good, because that would make things weird).

Friday 10

“Mutt & Stuff” (Nickelodon 8am) Legendary TV producers Sid and Marty Krofft (“H.R. Pufnstuf,” “Lidsville,” “Sigmund and the Sea Monsters”) created this show starring Calvin Millan and his dad, “Dog Whisperer” Cesar Millan. The father-son duo interact with dogs, both real and puppet-based. It’s designed to teach preschoolers about canine companionship. It sounds fucking insane.

“Trashformers” (FYI 8pm) Teams of “upcyclers” transform garbage into funky end tables and crap.

“Sex with Brody” (E! 11:30pm) Brody Jenner, who has lived his life on such reality shows as “The Princes of Malibu,” “The Hills” and “Keeping Up with the Kardashians,” tries something different—living his life on a talk show. He gives callers advice on how to improve their sex lives. Step one: Be born rich. Step two: Get a TV show.

Saturday 11

Family for Christmas (Hallmark 7pm) You win the trophy for most preemptive airing of a made-for-TV Christmas rom-com, Hallmark. Lifetime has got nothing on you guys this year. … Bonus points for employing Lacey Chabert.

7 Days in Hell (HBO 8pm) In this mockumentary, two sporting rivals (Andy Samberg and Kit Harington) engage in a week-long tennis match. Karen Gillan, Mary Steenburgen, Michael Sheen, Lena Dunham, Will Forte, Howie Mandel and Fred Armisen round out the comic cast.

Sunday 12

“Paw Star Game” (Hallmark 3pm) Adorable kittens spend three hours playing a fake baseball game while being cheered on by celebrities including Ed Asner, Maria Menounos, Mario Lopez, Al Roker, Heather McDonald, Tricia Helfer and Deidre Hall—all of whom I weep for.

“The 2000s: A New Reality” (National Geographic 7pm) Readers under the age of 15 aren’t old enough to remember that bygone era known as “The Aughts.” National Geographic takes us back to those long-lost days of terrorist attacks and Christina Aguilera albums with this miniseries.

Monday 13

“Little People, Big World: The Twins Grow Up” (TLC 7pm) Thank God for this three-hour recap special; otherwise we’d have no idea what’s going on in the new season of TLC’s “short people doing all the things not short people do” reality show.

Tuesday 14

“My Giant Life” (TLC 8pm) A reality show about tall people doing all the things that not tall people do? I did not see that coming, TLC.

Wednesday 15

“The 2015 ESPYs” (KOAT-7 7pm) The ESPY Awards migrate from ESPN (you know, the network they’re named after) to ABC. Because it’s summer, and nobody cares what’s on television. Hey, at least somebody came up with a way to give professional athletes some awards for a change.

“Impastor” (TV Land 8:30pm) Michael Rosenbaum (“Smallville”) stars as a con man who pretends to be a small-town gay preacher. Get it? … Get it?
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