Week In Sloth: “Dating Naked,” “#Candidlynicole,” “Aliens On The Moon”

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Thursday 17

“Dating Naked” (VH1 7pm) Yes, TV is that lazy.

“Rush” (USA 7pm) After losing his career as an ER doctor, a hard-partying physician (Tom Ellis) attends to wealthy clients’ medical emergencies. … Isn’t this the same show as USA’s “Royal Pains”?

“#CandidlyNicole” (VH1 8pm) Congratulations, Nicole Richie, you’ve now graced the world with the third hashtag-based reality show (after “#RichKids of Beverly Hills” and “#BikerLive”).

“Satisfaction” (USA 8pm) In this saucy new drama, a husband learns that his wife is seeing a male escort—so he decides to try out the occupation himself.

“Married” (FX 11pm) The cast of this long-married-couple sitcom includes ringers Judy Greer (“Arrested Development”), Nat Faxon (“Ben and Kate”) and Jenny Slate (“Parks and Recreation”).

Friday 18

“Rampage vs. King Mo” (Spike 7 pm) Bellator MMA replays the pay-per-view showdown between Rampage Jackson and King Mo. But what about the fight between Piston Hurricane and King Hippo?

Saturday 19

Expecting Amish (Lifetime 6pm) A pregnant teen (AJ Michalka) must decide whether to marry her boyfriend and stay in Amish country churning butter or reunite with the father of her child in Los Angeles. Given that the baby daddy is boy band singer/actor Jesse McCartney, this ain’t exactly Sophie’s Choice.

The Unknown Known (History 7:30pm) Errol Morris’ probing 2013 documentary gives former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld a platform on which to speak and all the rope he needs to hang himself.

Sunday 20

“Aliens on the Moon: The Truth Exposed” (Syfy 7pm) Yup, aliens crawling all over the moon. Cities, roads, giant UFO landing bases. Why haven’t you heard about this before? Big cover-up. NASA. Conspiracy. That kinda thing. Couldn’t you just look through a telescope yourself and determine this is false? Sure, but then you’d be part of the cover-up.

“The Lottery” (Lifetime 8pm) Lifetime’s new sci-fi series takes place in a future where all of humanity is infertile. When a young scientist miraculously succeeds in fertilizing 100 human eggs, the government seizes his work, and the president holds a national lottery to see who will carry the embryos.

Monday 21

“Prince George Turns One!” (E! 9:30pm) Um, OK. Is there more to this story that isn’t already well-covered in the title?

Tuesday 22

“Food Fighters” (KOB-4 7pm) What if—and bear with me on this, TV, because it’s pretty radical—what if there were a TV show in which chefs competed against one another? Losers would be eliminated, and the winner would get some sort of cash prize. We could give it a food-based title like “MasterChef” or “Iron Chef” or “Top Chef” or “Chopped” or “Sweet Genius” or “The Taste” or “Hell’s Kitchen” or “Cupcake Wars” or “Knife Fight.” … Ah, never mind. That’d never fly.

Wednesday 23

“BAPs” (Lifetime 8pm) Inspired by the Halle Berry comedy from 1997, this docu-reality series tracks a group of self-proclaimed “Black African Princesses.” Nice to see TV’s pursuit of annoyingly overprivileged rich people is now color blind.
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