Week In Sloth: “Food Fighters,” “Macy’s 4Th Of July Fireworkds Spectacular” And “The Spoils Before Dying”

Devin D. O'Leary
3 min read
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July 2

“Food Fighters” (KOB-4 7pm) Some people think it’s hard to succeed in Hollywood. It’s not. All you have to do is walk into the offices of any TV network and say, “I’ve got a brilliant idea for a TV show: Amateur and professional chefs go head-to-head in a culinary competition trying to create the tastiest dish in a set amount of time. Celebrity judges pick a winner. There’s a prize of some sort at the end.” … Don’t believe it’s that easy? Just wait.

July 3

Jaws Marathon (AMC 5:45pm) Heading out to the beach this summer? Why not get in the mood with a quadruple feature of 1975’s Jaws (5:45pm), 1978’s Jaws 2 (8:45pm), 1983’s Jaws 3 (11:15pm) and 1987’s Jaws: The Revenge (1:30am)?

July 4

“Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks Spectacular” (KOB-4 7pm) Patriotic country musicians such as Dierks Bentley and Brad Paisley lip sync their hits while stuff blows up. Flo Rida and Meghan Trainor show up too—you know, for the kids.

“A Capitol 4th” (KNME-5 7pm) Bradley Whitford (from “The West Wing”) hosts this concert featuring Barry Manilow, Alabama, KC and the Sunshine Band and Nicole Scherzinger. Who booked this show? A roulette wheel?

“Cook It Out” (KOAT-7 8pm) See! See! What did I just tell you? Next time you’re in Burbank, just pop by any one of the networks and tell them about your brilliant new idea for a cooking competition. They’ll put it on the air right away.

July 5

“Shark Trek” (Discovery 6pm) Oh, I can tell by that chum in the water that it’s time once again for Discovery’s annual Shark Week promo.

July 6

“Penn & Teller: Fool Us” (KWBQ-19 7pm) Magicians try to pull the wool over illusionists Penn & Teller’s heads. Good luck with that.

“Whose Line Is It Anyway” (KWBQ-19 8pm) Illusionists Penn & Teller stop by The CW’s improv comedy show because … um, brand synergy?

July 7

“Seven Year Switch” (FYI 7pm) FYI takes “Wife Swap” and turns it into … a show with a different title.

“Tiburones: Sharks of Cuba” (Discovery 8pm) I hear they drive these really sweet, old American cars.

“Hollywood Cycle” (E! 8pm) What could be more exciting than a docureality series about a stationary bike studio in California? … Wait, wait. … Gimme time to write all this down.

“Running of the Bulls Festival and Highlights” (Esquire 9pm) Esquire provides us with live coverage of the Running of the Bulls Festival in Pamplona, Spain. Be sure to tune in every night so you don’t miss a single goring.

July 8

The Spoils Before Dying (IFC 7pm) Author/TV producer Eric Jonrosh (Will Ferrell in an Orson Welles-inspired fat suit) unveils his other “long lost” ’80s miniseries (after The Spoils of Babylon). This noirish spoof takes us into the seedy underbelly of the 1950s jazz scene. Cast for this go-around includes Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Val Kilmer, Haley Joel Osment, Tim Meadows, Michael Sheen and Chris Parnell.

“Why? With Hannibal Buress” (Comedy Central 8:30pm) Comedian Hannibal Buress gets his own newsy, ripped-from-today’s-headlines show featuring interviews, man-on-the-streets excursions and editorial rants.
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