Week In Sloth: From The Nba Finals To “I Still Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant”

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Thursday 4

2015 NBA Finals” (KOAT-7 7pm) Not that watching the Cleveland Cavaliers battle the Golden State Warriors won’t be exciting, basketball. But both football and soccer have drummed up some awesomely exciting cheating scandals lately. Do you think maybe you could whip up something like that by tonight?

Friday 5

“Sense8” (Netflix anytime) The Wachowskis (makers of fine science fiction films such as The Matrix and a bunch of others you didn’t like) and J. Michael Straczynski (creator of “Babylon 5” and the writer who made Superman walk across America for, like, a whole year) are behind this new series. In it eight strangers from around the world suddenly find themselves mentally and emotionally connected thanks to an “evolutionary leap of technological origin.”

“Preach” (Lifetime 8pm) Cable TV continues its love affair with fringe Christianity with this docu-reality series about a group of “powerful Christian prophetesses.” But if they were that powerful, they wouldn’t live in freaking Ohio.

“Catching Monsters” (Discovery 8pm) And by “monsters,” they mean “fish.” Because we can never have too many TV shows about fishing.

Saturday 6

Double Daddy (Lifetime 6pm) A high schooler impregnates his teenage girlfriend … and his other teenage girlfriend in Lifetime’s latest, scandal-mongering, made-for-TV movie.

“Branson Taxi” (Reelz 7:30pm) This new docu-reality series is based on the assumption that the only thing more exciting than watching taxi cab drivers shuttle drunk people around is watching taxi cab drivers shuttle drunk people around the washed-up-country-music-star capital of Branson, Mo.

Sunday 7

“The 69th Annual Tony Awards” (KRQE-13 7pm) Kristin Chenoweth and Alan Cumming host, making up for this year’s distinct lack of NPH.

“Mummies Alive” (Smithsonian 7pm) Well, not so much alive as … yeah, totally dead.

Serial Thriller: Angel of Decay (ID 8pm) Investigation Discovery offers up its first fully scripted miniseries. It’s based on a true-life crime case, making it a three-hour version of the crime scene reenactments the network typically deals in.

Monday 8

“Becoming Us” (ABC Family 7pm) Between Amazon’s “Transparent,” Caitlyn (née Bruce) Jenner’s Vanity Fair cover and this drama about a midwestern teen whose father is transitioning to a woman, transgender culture has officially become a bandwagon!

“Odd Mom Out” (Bravo 11pm) This scripted, half-hour sitcom stars “celebrated fashionista and author” Jill Kargman as “a satirical version of herself.” … How is that different, exactly, from reality shows like “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills”?

Tuesday 9

Meerkat Manor: The Monarchy Under Attack (DFC 6pm) So, um, Discovery Family Channel is re-editing and re-releasing the first two seasons of “Meerkat Manor” as a 90-minute, “movie-style” special, complete with “Downton Abbey”-inspired narration from famed British actor Rupert Graves (The Madness of King George).

Wednesday 10

“I Still Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” (TLC 6pm) Who doesn’t love toilet babies?
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