Week In Sloth: “Health Inspectors,” “Large Dangerous Rocket Ships” And “The Great Pumpkin”

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 25

“What’s the Earth Worth?” (History 7 p.m.) Yup, the entire thing. Like if space aliens were gonna buy it wholesale. Round figures are fine. Hell, we could throw the moon in for free.

“Project Runway All Stars” (Lifetime 7 p.m.) Fourteen past contestants return for another shot at fashion glory. And hemline-related drama.

Friday 26

“Hoops & Yoyo’s Haunted Halloween” (Hallmark 5 p.m.) Hallmark’s heavily trademarked card-selling cartoon characters return for another holiday special. I bet there’s corresponding merchandise at your nearest Hallmark store.

“Mockingbird Lane” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) NBC decided not to go ahead with its updated version of “The Munsters”—which is too bad since it was the work of cult TV creator Bryan Fuller (“Wonderfalls,” “Pushing Daisies”). But at least we get to check out the pilot episode, now being marketed as a “Halloween special.” Jerry O’Connell, Eddie Izzard and Portia de Rossi star.

“Jungle Gold” (Discovery 8 p.m.) Why look for gold in icy Alaska when you can dig the stuff up in the toasty warm jungles of central Africa? … Oh, right: The heavily armed warlords with their child soldier armies. Guess Soldotna isn’t looking so bad now, huh?

“Health Inspectors” (Food Network 8:30 p.m.) I have a feeling this is going to be the least appetizing show on Food Network.

Saturday 27

The Good Witch’s Charm (Hallmark 7 p.m.) Catherine Bell and Hallmark crank out another “Good Witch” movie (the fifth, I think) just in time for Halloween.

Sunday 28

“The Secret of Crickley Hall” (BBC America 3 p.m.) After their son goes missing, a British couple moves into the titular manse. You’d better believe it’s haunted. Based on James Herbert’s novel.

“Flipping the White House” (Discovery 8 p.m.) Hell, we’ve already contemplated selling the entire Earth this week. Selling off the White House seems like no big deal. So if our country’s economy goes south, what’s the old gal worth? Oh, wait, you’re only “flipping” it for the next president. Never mind.

“Large Dangerous Rocket Ships” (Science 8 p.m.) Say not more. I’m in!

“The Venture Bros: A Very Venture Halloween” (Cartoon Network 12:30 a.m.) Calm down. No new season just yet. But at least we get a holiday special.

Monday 29

“2012 World Series of Poker” (ESPN2 6 p.m.) Sure, you could watch the actual World Series tonight. Or you could tune in for this card-based version live from Las Vegas.

Tuesday 30

“Ben and Kate”/“New Girl”/“The Mindy Project” (KASA-2 7:30/8:00/8:30 p.m.) FOX gets into the spirit with a trio of Halloween-themed sitcoms.

Wednesday 31

Halloween Marathon (TCM 4:30 a.m.) Your best bet is just to turn on TCM today and leave it there. Highlights include 1964’s The Last Man on Earth (12:30 p.m.), 1931’s Frankenstein (6 p.m.), 1941’s The Wolf Man (9:15 p.m.) and 1932’s The Mummy (10:30 p.m.).

“It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Ah, sweet tradition.

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