Week In Sloth: How To Spend Time Instead Of Finishing That Project

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Thursday 28

“Aquarius” (KOB-4 8pm) David Duchovny stars in this retro-’60s crime series about a Los Angeles detective tracking a smalltime cult leader named Charles Manson.

“Smile” (Lifetime 8pm) What could be more fun than dental surgery? Watching a reality show about dental surgery.

“Louis C.K.: Live at the Comedy Store” (FX 12:04am) FX celebrates the fifth season finale of “Louie” with a live stand-up special.

“3AM” (Showtime 10pm) Showtime’s new docuseries introduces viewers to the drag queens, artists, escorts and other insomniacs who populate “the bizarro world of late-night New York City.”

Friday 29

Nightingale (HBO 7pm) David Oyelowo (Selma) is the sole cast member in this dark, psychological drama about a war veteran suffering from PTSD who slowly unravels ahead of a friend’s visit.

“Strange Empire: Rise of the Women” (Lifetime Movie Network 7pm) This Western drama follows three “strong and independent women” who join forces to seek a new way of life in the perilous world of the North American Frontier, circa 1860.

Saturday 30

“2015 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony” (HBO 6pm) Ringo Starr, Green Day, Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, Lou Reed, Stevie Ray Vaughan and Bill Withers get their own personal display cases.

The Secret Life of Marilyn Monroe (Lifetime 6pm) Really? C’mon. After more than a dozen biopics and countless tell-all books, how many secrets do you think are left for this melodrama miniseries?

“Treetop Cat Rescue” (Animal Planet 7pm) A TV show about people pulling cats out of trees? What, was the “Watching Water Boil” show too exciting for you?

Sunday 31

“Critics’ Choice Television Awards” (A&E 6pm) Seth MacFarlane will be given the Louis XIII Genius Award—which sounds like a joke, but apparently isn’t.

Monday 1

“UnREAL” (Lifetime 8pm) This seems inevitable. Lifetime’s newest scripted drama goes behind the scenes of an “unscripted” dating competition show where producers actively manufacture drama through manipulation.

“The Whispers” (KOAT-7 9pm) This creepy, Steven Spielberg-produced series follows an FBI “child specialist” as she investigates a series of children talked into doing dangerous, potentially deadly things by their “invisible friends.”

Tuesday 2

“Stitchers” (ABC Family 7pm) TV’s getting lazy these days. Instead of plotting out murder mysteries, they’re just giving their fictional detectives the ability to see inside the minds of dead people. Makes solving crimes so much easier. This sci-fi-esque series features a young woman with a talent for technology who “joins a covert government agency to solve crimes and mysteries by entering the minds of recently deceased individuals.”

Wednesday 3

“The Grandmother Lovers” (TLC 7pm) Um, I guess it’s better than “The Incestuous Christian Child Molesters.”

“The Woman With the World’s Biggest Hips” (TLC 8pm) For most people, a one-sentence description in Guinness World Records. For TLC, an hour-long special.

“Craziest Restaurants in America” (Food Network 8pm) I hear there’s a restaurant in Texas where the waitresses wear bikini tops and the patrons shoot at you. That sounds pretty crazy.
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