Week In Sloth: Ice Sculptors, Image Awards And America’s Next Great Something-Or-Other

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 3

“Ice Brigade” (Food Network 8 p.m.) A few weeks back, I thought the Wheel of Blue Collar Jobs That Don’t Have Reality Shows Yet was broken because it landed on “balloon sculptors” and we got TLC’s “The Unpoppables.” Now, it’s landed on “ice carvers.” Either the wheel has run out of real jobs, or it’s in need of serious repair.

Friday 4

“The 42 nd Annual NAACP Image Awards” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Holly Robinson Peete hosts. Apparently the NAACP is like me: It’s been sitting at home watching episodes of “21 Jump Street” on Netflix instant download.

“Beast Hunter” (National Geographic 7 p.m.) No longer content to leave all the not finding bigfoot / chupacabra / Loch Ness monster to Syfy and others, NGC starts its own cryptozoology series.

Saturday 5

“Bellator Fighting Championships 35” (MTV2 7 p.m.) Not exactly sure what Bellator Fighting is or why it’s escaped my notice for 35 seasons, but here it is. On MTV2.

Sunday 6

“America’s Next Great Restaurant” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Congratulations are in order. Network executives have found another noun to append to the phrase “American’s Next Great/Top …”

“Secret Millionaire” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) In this new reality series, insanely wealthy people pretend not to be insanely wealthy for a few days to prove how awesome they are. Gosh, I wish there was something nice we could do for rich folks. Like give them a giant tax break.

“The Celebrity Apprentice” (KOB-4 8 p.m.) Joining the increasingly long list of “famous celebrities” I’ve never heard of this week are such folks as NeNe Leakes, Hope Dworaczyk and John Rich.

Monday 7

“The Event” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) After half a season of screwing around, half explaining some crap and mostly confusing us, NBC’s sci-fi series finally gets down to dealing with its actual premise, the much-promised “Event.” Turns out the extraterrestrial terrorists are actually from Earth, want their planet back and are planning on wiping out all of humanity to get it. Sounds exciting. Too bad nobody’s watching anymore.

“All About Aubrey” (Oxygen 11 p.m.) Aubrey O’Day, member of Sean “Whatever We’re Calling Him” Combs’ faux R & B group / excuse for a reality show Danity Kane, was booted from the group on a 2008 episode of “Making The Band.” You know what that means, don’t you? Reality show spin-off!

Tuesday 8

“Character Approved: Honoring 12 Cultural Trailblazers” (USA 9 p.m.) USA network hands out awards to groundbreaking heroes in architecture, art, fashion, film, food, music and more.

“Tiniest Tween: Kenadie’s Story” (TLC 8 p.m.) TLC continues to insist that little people, no matter who they are or what they do, are completely fascinating.

Wednesday 9

“The Real World” (MTV 11 p.m.) Hard to believe this show is entering its 25 th season tonight. Just think: The members of the very first cast from way back in 1992 are now too old to give a damn about any of the programming on MTV.
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