Week In Sloth: Labyrinth, The Normal Heart And Blood Lake: Attack Of The Killer Lampreys

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Thursday 22

Labyrinth (KWBQ-19 7pm) Not a remake of the ’80s fantasy classic (sadly … or not) but a mini-series adaptation of Kate Mosse’s novel about a teen in the 13th century who must protect the secret of the Holy Grail. In 2006 it was the second best selling book in the UK behind The Da Vinci Code. Damn, we were obsessed with the Holy Grail back in 2006.

“Hidden History in Your House” (H2 7pm) Not mine. … Unless you count that stash of old Playboy magazines in the garage.

Friday 23

“Chrome Underground” (Discovery 8pm) At first glance the title “Chrome Underground” sounds exceptionally cool, invoking some sort of shadowy, cyberpunk world. Then you realize it’s probably just another car restoration show. Which it is.

Saturday 24

Cesar’s Last Fast (Pivot 5pm) In the summer of 1988, 61-year-old civil rights activist Cesar Chavez embarked on a water-only fast to draw attention to the plight of migrant workers and to atone for his perceived failure at getting farmers to stop using dangerous pesticides. This documentary recalls the pivotal event.

Sunday 25

Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys (Animal Planet 7pm) Animal Planet throws all air of scientific legitimacy out the window with this “Monster Week” capper. It’s from the people who brought us Sharknado. Shannen Doherty is in it. … Hey, I didn’t say I wasn’t going to watch it.

The Normal Heart (HBO 7pm) HBO adapts Larry Kramer’s landmark stage play about the roots of the AIDS crisis in 1980s New York. The impressive cast includes Mark Ruffalo, Matt Bomer, Taylor Kitsch, Jim Parsons and Julia Roberts.

Monday 26

“The American Veterans Center National Memorial Day Parade” (Reelz 12pm) Lt. Col. Richard E. Cole serves as grand marshal. Gary Sinise and Miss America are the celebrity guests. Other than that, there should be a whole lot of marching.

“Countdown to American Ninja Warrior 2014” (KOB-4 7pm) Get ready for this year’s “American Ninja Warrior” by counting down the most exciting moments from previous years. (Pretty much all of them involve falling off one obstacle or another.)

“The World Wars” (History 7pm) History Channel celebrates Memorial Day by kicking off this epic new series documenting World Wars I and II. (Which, if we’re honest, is what History has been doing, over and over again, since its inception.)

Tuesday 27

“Little Women: LA” (Lifetime 8pm) A reality show about “the adventures of smart, sexy and funny girlfriends who happen to be little people”? I expected this of TLC. But not you, Lifetime. Not you.

“The Wil Wheaton Project” (Syfy 8pm) Actor-turned-pop-cultural-oddity Wil Wheaton gets his own (no-doubt) snark-filled chat show in which he dissects the week’s sci-fi-related films, TV, etc.

“The Night Shift” (KOB-4 9pm) ABC finally airs its shot-in-Albuquerque medical drama as a summer replacement series.

Wednesday 28

“One Night Only: An All-Star Comedy Tribute to Don Rickles” (Spike 7pm) Funny folks David Letterman, Jerry Seinfeld, Jon Stewart, Ray Romano, Tracy Morgan, Jimmy Kimmel, Bob Newhart and Robert De Niro (De Niro?) show up to honor their pal Don.
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