Week In Sloth: Lingerie Football, The World Series Of Beer Pong And A Somber Remembrance Of 9/11

The Week In Sloth

Devin D. O'Leary
4 min read
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Thursday 1

“Nick News With Linda Ellerbee” (Nickelodeon 7 p.m.) It’s been 10 years since the events of Sept. 11, 2001, meaning most Nickelodeon viewers weren’t even alive when it happened. So “Nick News” takes the opportunity to explain what happened. … Minus all the “Truther” theories. Damn liberal media. Elementary schoolers need to be warned about the New World Order!

“Rising: Rebuilding Ground Zero” (Discovery 6 p.m.) Executive producer Steven Spielberg debuts this six-part documentary about the planning and construction of the new World Trade Center and the National September 11 Memorial.

Last Cup: Road to the World Series of Beer Pong (Spike 9 p.m.) Apparently, there is a World Series of Beer Pong. And apparently, there is a documentary about it.

Friday 2

“LFL Presents: Friday Night Football” (MTV2 8 p.m.) Yup, MTV2 is broadcasting Lingerie Football League games. Tonight it’s … right, who cares what the teams are?

Saturday 3

Game Time: Tackling the Past (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Wal-Mart presents this wholesome movie about a pro footballer (Ryan McPartlin, Captain Awesome from “Chuck”) who’s about to break the all-time receiving record—until he’s recalled to his hometown by the news that dad (Beau Bridges) has suffered a serious heart attack. Spoiler alert: “Family comes first” is the moral.

“I Faked My Own Death” (Discovery 8 p.m.) Not very well, apparently, if you’re on TV bragging about it.

“George W. Bush: The 9/11 interview” (National Geographic 8 p.m.) Apparently, those right-wing bumper stickers attached to the back of Dodge pickups are correct—“We will never forget.” Not with TV specials every night for a week leading up to the 10 th anniversary, anyway.

Sunday 4

“MDA Labor Day Telethon” (KRQE-13 6 p.m.) For the first time since 1966, Jerry Lewis has the weekend off.

“Dinosaur Revolution” (Discovery 7 p.m .) Yeah, the Arab Spring movement would have been way cooler if it had involved dinosaurs.

“9/11: Heroes of the 88 th Floor” (TLC 7 p.m.) If I had been on the 87 th floor, I’d be a little offended right now.

Monday 5

“When Pop Culture Saved America: A 9/11 Story” (BIO 6 p.m.) This two-hour documentary reflects on how “comedians, singers, actors, entertainers all did their part” to help America get back to “the new normal.” … Are they talking about that “boot up your ass” song by Toby Keith? Cause that really healed my heart.

“Children of 9/11” (KOB-4 9 p.m.) Well, America was having a lot of “anxiety sex” in the wake of 9/11.

“Flying Anvils” (Science 8 p.m.) Engineers, amateur inventors and crazy people use gunpowder to launch 100-pound anvils into the air in America’s newest extreme science competition. Tory Belleci from “MythBusters” hosts … and runs for cover a lot, I assume.

Tuesday 6

“I Survived …” (BIO 6 p.m.) Twelve survivors tell how they came out alive from—what else?—the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.

“Carson Nation” (OWN 7 p.m.) Carson Kreesley shows up in Roswell, N.M., and teaches the local population how to dress.

Wednesday 7

“Saved” (Animal Planet 7 p.m.) This new series profiles people who have survived epic disasters and how the human/pet bond helped them overcome the trauma. The premiere episode focuses on—what else?—9/11.

“Pawn 90210” (E! 11 p.m.) Hollywood fatwah ! That’s a flagrant violation of the “We’ve already got 10 identical shows on TV” law.

“Rescue Me” (FX 11 p.m.) Dennis Leary’s 9/11-inspired firefighter drama signs off with an 80-minute series finale.
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