Week In Sloth: Newnownext Awards, Miley Cyrus Live And Scoundrels

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 17

“The 2010 World Music Awards” (KASY-50 7 p.m.) Jennifer Lopez, Ludacris, will.i.am and Akon perform. Michelle Rodriguez and Hayden Panettiere host. … Yup, that pretty much covers the world.

“The NewNowNext Awards” (LOGO 11 p.m.) Any award show that puts Zoe Saldana and Betty White in the same category (the “Cause You’re Hot” Award) gets my vote.

Friday 18

“Miley Cyrus in London: Live at the O2” (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) Do tweens even care anymore?

Saturday 19

“Tribe Wanted: Welcome to Vorovoro” (National Geographic 7 p.m.) Eco-tourism entrepreneur Ben Keane struggles to build a working resort village alongside a real Fijian tribe.

Sunday 20

The Phantom (SyFy 5 p.m.) Lee Falk’s antiquated Tarzan-crossed-with-Batman comic strip got adapted into a crummy 1996 movie. Now, it gets adapted into a crummy 2010 miniseries.

“ ’Til Death” (KASA-2 6 p.m.) After 36 unwarranted episodes, FOX finally chokes the life out of this awful sitcom with a series finale.

“The Tudors” (Showtime 7 p.m.) All good things must come to an end, and King Henry VIII (studly Jonathan Rhys Meyers) must eventually die of obesity, gout, suppurating boils and possibly syphilis.

“Scoundrels” (KOAT-7 8 p.m.) A family of small-time criminals (led by Virginia Madsen) tries (semi-successfully) to go straight after dad ends up in jail. Filmed (partially) right here in Albuquerque.

“The Real L Word” (Showtime 8 p.m.) Showtime turns “The L Word” into a reality series. Sure, the lesbians are slightly less attractive now, but they’re still L.A. lesbians—meaning they’re just as stuck-up, overly dramatic and self-centered.

“Guys Choice Awards 2010” (Spike 8 p.m.) Among the hot chicks invited to, you know, hot up the joint: Scarlett Johansson, Charlize Theron, Marisa Miller, Brooklyn Decker, Jessica Biel and Leonardo DiCaprio.

“The Gates” (KOAT-7 9 p.m.) ABC’s going all-out with the summer series stuff. Here, we get to see what “Desperate Housewives” would look like if the housewives were all vampires.

Monday 21

“Inedible to Incredible” (TLC 8 p.m.) Crummy chefs are taught how not to be crummy. Alternate title: TLC’s “What Not to Cook.”

Tuesday 22

“Downfall” (KOAT-7 8:01 p.m.) Players answer questions and try to win prizes. So, what’s the gimmick? This game show is held on top of a 10-story building. The prizes are on a conveyor belt. Take too long to answer the questions and the prizes plunge to their doom. It’s a brilliant combination of “Jeopardy!” and David Letterman’s old “Throwing Things off the Roof” segment. Minus the brilliant.

“Michael Jackson & Bubbles: The Untold Story” (Animal Planet 8 p.m.) Untold story? Hmm, not sure I really wanna delve into that swamp.

Wednesday 23

“Jimmy Kimmel Live: Twilight Saga: Total Eclipse of the Heart” (KOAT-7 9:01 p.m.) OMG! Jimmy interviews the entire cast of the new Twilight movie in prime time. I no longer have any respect for the man. … Oh, wait. I never did.
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