Week In Sloth: “Nor’eastermen,” “Cupcake Wars” And Steel Magnolias

The Week In Sloth

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Thursday 4

“30 Rock” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) The TV industry sitcom enters its seventh and final season by continuing to mock the hand that feeds it—here, the cast makes fun of NBC’s crappy fall lineup.

“Nor’Easter Men” (History 7 p.m.) History Channel kindly contributes to the “gruff fishermen on really cold boats” subgenre of docureality television.

Friday 5

Everything or Nothing: The Untold Story of 007 (Epix 6 p.m.) Today is apparently Global James Bond Day. Epix celebrates 50 years of the British superspy on screen (not to mention the upcoming release of Skyfall) with this historical documentary.

Saturday 6

“Winged Planet” (Discovery 7 p.m.) If you liked “Planet Earth,” “Blue Planet” and “Frozen Planet,” Discovery is hoping you’ll tune in for “Winged Planet.” It’s got birds.

Sunday 7

“Cupcake Wars” (Food 6 p.m.) I can’t believe this show is entering its seventh season. When will these senseless wars end?

“The Simpsons” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Seems a little early for “Treehouse of Horror XXIII.” Then again, since the Simpsons find themselves dealing with the apocalyptic end of the Mayan calendar, maybe it’s already too late.

Steel Magnolias (Lifetime 7 p.m.) If you thought the original Steel Magnolias was a little … white, here’s the southern-fried weeper recast with the likes of Queen Latifah, Phylicia Rashad, Jill Scott and Alfre Woodard.

Monday 8

“Crash & Bernstein” (Disney XD 6:30 p.m.) A lonely 12-year-old boy in a family full of females wishes for a little brother. He gets one in the form of a Muppet-esque “Build-A-Bestie” doll that comes to life and becomes his best friend. … Wait. Isn’t this the plot to Child’s Play?

Titanic: Blood and Steel (Encore 9 p.m.) I thought we were kind of over the whole Titanic thing. Apparently not. Here’s a miniseries about the building of the ship.

Tuesday 9

“Chuck’s Eat The Street” (Cooking 6:30 p.m.) Seriously? That’s the best title you could come up with, Chuck?

“Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition” (Lifetime 7 p.m.) The large woman with anger management issues from “Dance Moms” gets her own dancing competition show for adults. It promises to be unlike any other dance competition on TV, in that … well, hmmm.

“Man Fire Food” (Cooking 8 p.m.) C’mon! Are monkeys typing out your show titles?

“Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog” (KWBQ-19 8 p.m.) Joss Whedon’s musical web series about a lovesick supervillain (Neil Patrick Harris) is a good four years old at this point. But it’s still cool. If you haven’t seen it, here’s a prime opportunity. Also, if you haven’t seen it, you’re no nerdfriend of mine.

Wednesday 10

“Arrow” (KWBQ-19 7 p.m.) The CW tries to put a “Smallville”-esque spin on DC’s Green Arrow.

“Chicago Fire” (KOB-4 8 p.m.) That has to be the most generic TV show title since the late, unlamented “Weekly Police Action Series.”

“Nashville” (KOAT-7 9 p.m.) Not a spin-off of the 1975 Robert Altman film (alas) but a country music drama starring Connie Britton (“Friday Night Lights”) as the fading superstar and Hayden Panettiere (“Heroes”) as the up-and-coming singer.
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