Week In Sloth: Pitch Perfect Sing-Along, “Sing It On” And The Case Of The Cannibal Cop

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Thursday 7

“Lost in Transmission” (History 8:03pm) Somebody came up with a new pun, so it’s time for another car restoration show.

“Dead End Express” (National Geographic 8pm) NG’s new docu-series follows people who risk their lives hauling fuel, ammo, food and medicine through harsh terrain—basically supplying the rural weirdos who star in all of NG’s other docu-series.

Friday 8

Orson Welles Marathon (TCM 6pm) It’s Orson Welles’ 100th birthday, and TCM is celebrating with an Orson Welles movie marathon every Friday in May. Today, we get Touch of Evil (6pm), The Lady from Shanghai (8pm) and Mr. Arkadin (9:45pm).

“Grace and Frankie” (Netflix Anytime) 9 to 5 castmates Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin reunite to star in this sitcom about two longtime rivals who are brought together after their husbands (Sam Waterston and Martin Sheen) announce they are in love with each other and plan to get married.

Saturday 9

Pitch Perfect Sing-Along (ABC Family 6pm) Pitch Perfect 2 hits theaters this summer, so why not revisit the original film (about a college a cappella group) with this sing-along version. It’s like “Glee”—only the actors are too old to be in college instead of too old to be in high school.

Stockholm, Pennsylvania (Lifetime 6pm) Kidnapped at age 4 by a stranger, a woman reunites with her family and tries to adjust to normalcy after spending 17 years in captivity. Saoirse Ronan (The Grand Budapest Hotel), Cynthia Nixon (“Sex and the City”) and Jason Isaacs (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows) star.

Just the Way Your Are (Hallmark 7pm) Candace Cameron Bure stars in her umpteenth Hallmark Channel movie—at least half of which have the word “Christmas” in the title. Seriously, this girl sees more action in December than Santa’s sleigh.

Sunday 10

“Guy’s Grocery Games: Mother’s Day Madness” (Food 6pm) Hey, at least Guy Fieri remembered it was Mother’s Day. What’s your excuse?

“Kate Plus 8: Mother’s Day Surprise” (TLC 6pm) TLC continues to try and convince us that we don’t hate Kate Gosselin with yet another one-hour special about her and her eight damn kids.

Monday 11

Thought Crimes: The Case of the Cannibal Cop (HBO 7pm) And you thought Baltimore cops were bad.

Tuesday 12

“How It’s Made” (Science 8pm) Science Channel’s “industrial manufacturing porn” series features a special episode titled “Misbehaving Advertising Executive in the 1960s Edition.” I think they’re trying to say “Mad Men” without violating copyright. But what they’re going to do with it, I can’t say. How cigarettes and scotch are made, maybe?

Wednesday 13

“American Idol” (KASA-2 7pm) Pay attention, America. A new idol is being crowned for your worshipping pleasure.

“Sing It On” (TV Guide 7pm) And since it’s against the law to have less than seven singing competitions on TV at any given time, TV Guide adds one just as “American Idol” disappears for a few weeks. This one features a cappella singers—so Pitch Perfect fans, this is a hell of a week for you.
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