Week In Sloth: “Puppy Bowl,” “Kitten Bowl,” “Fish Bowl” And Something Called The “Super Bowl”

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Thursday 4

“Madoff: After the Fall” (KOAT-7 9pm) ABC follows up its two-night Bernie Madoff mini-series with a news special tracing what happened to the Ponzi schemer in the wake of his epic conviction.

“Impractical Jokers Joker Bowl: The Pros Weigh In” (truTV 8pm) Two “former NFL players” give “in-depth analysis on each joker’s strategy and execution as well as statistical analysis.” So … a couple of old footballers watch reruns from a hidden camera prank show in an attempt to provide some sort of link to the Super Bowl.

Friday 5

“Super Bowl’s Greatest Halftime Shows” (KRQE-13 8pm) CBS spends two hours looking at Janet Jackson’s nipple. I don’t know, maybe there will be something about Prince as well.

Michael Jackson’s Journey from Motown to Off The Wall (Showtime 7pm) Spike Lee turns documentarian to examine the Prince of Pop’s early years.

“Animals” (HBO 9:30pm) Downtrodden animals (rats, pigeons, police horses, bed bugs) navigate life in New York City in this animated anthology series produced by the indie film-based Duplass brothers.

Saturday 6

“Super Bowl’s Greatest Commercials All-Star Countdown” (KRQE-13 7pm) If you’re counting this is the second “greatest Super Bowl commercials” countdown in a week.

“The 5th Annual NFL Honors” (KRQE-13 8pm) Personally, I think you’re overdoing it, CBS. But at least this piece of pre-game hype involves actual football.

Sunday 7

“Kitten Bowl III” (Hallmark 10am) Relax, you’ve got time. This thing reruns until 7pm

“Puppy Bowl XII” (Animal Planet 10am) If you count the sneak preview, the warm-up, the “tail-gate,” the pre-game show (I’m not making any of this up), the actual “game,” the chicken cheerleader halftime show and the post-game voting on “America’s Top Pup,” this thing runs (and reruns) until 3am.

“Fish Bowl XXL” (Nat Geo Wild 4pm) Just to be clear, this is not the 23rd annual Fish Bowl. For this year’s “Zen alternative” to the Big Game, they’re just dropping the goldfish into an extra large 50-gallon tank.

“Super Bowl 50” (KRQE-13 4:30pm) And finally, if you want to watch some actual football today, Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos will battle Cam Newton and the Carolina Panthers.

Monday 8

“What You Get For the $” (Travel 6pm) This new series highlights “wild and surprising ways to spend specific amounts of cash around the world.” In the premiere we get to blow our dough on beer-slinging monkeys in Japan and water-powered jetpacks in Florida.

“Full Frontal with Samantha Bee” (TBS 8:30pm) Another former “Daily Show” correspondent gets a newsy talk-show spin-off.

Tuesday 9

“Booze Traveler: Best Bars” (Travel 8pm) If they call a guy “The Booze Traveler” you should probably listen to him when he tells you what the best bars in the world are.

Wednesday 10

31 Days of Oscar (TCM 6pm) Every February Turner Classic Movies celebrates the Academy Awards with 31 days’ worth of award-winning classics. Tonight the station concentrates on the late, great Steve McQueen with 1963’s The Great Escape, 1968’s Bullitt and 1972’s Papillon.
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